Tree-Ring Circus

It's Been A While

2012-01-23T07:12:00.000-05:00

Eight weeks ago I was doing this:

Yesterday I was doing this:

We haven't been to Tree Ring since mid-November. It was so nice to be back. Looks like the TRC gopher was very busy since we were gone. He seems to be looking for something - like we have buried treasure in the clearing somewhere.

I've been back to work part time since week 4 and full time starting last week. Because of the pre-existing STD clause, I won't be able to get the left knee done until June. I am on 5 hydrocodone per day and really it is for the left knee, not the right. I'll have to wean down, though, since that is still a high dose. I can't wait until I don't have to take any of this stuff anymore.

TRC was wonderful as usual. We didn't see any wildlife except for a flock of about 8 turkey hens on the neighbor's property. We awoke to a VERY loud male gobble though. That was the coolest. He gobbled about 4 times over about 1/2 hour as I walked to the dry pond.

On this trip I found a new talent - fly whisperer.

He let me pet him like 10 times. Country flies sure are strange.

I also found that I should watch those flying fire embers just a little bit.

We are hoping to go to TRC every other weekend now, if possible. The weather this winter has been spectacular. It was 75/55 this weekend.

Drugs Sure Make Time Fly

2011-12-26T14:31:00.001-05:00

It is three weeks ago today that my knee was replaced, but it seems like last week. I think this is partly due to sleeping so much while on percocet. I lowered the dose from 2 to 1 1/2 tabs every 4 hours, and seem to tolerate it ok.

Tomorrow is my first meeting with the new PT guy.

Starting Wednesday, Retro Man is going to drive me to and from work. Thankfully I have a job where I sit down most of the time, so I'll try to get in 5 hours 3 days this week, and 5 hours 4 days next week.

Nothing like no pay to spur you into action.

Went on another walk along the water today.

First Real Shower In 17 Days

2011-12-22T19:49:00.001-05:00

Our full bathrooms are on the second story, so even though I was cleared to take a shower a few days ago, I was reluctant to go up those stairs. Today the shower actually called my name, and so I went.

O M G

It's impossible to believe that something so basic could give me so much pleasure. Simply amazing.

The stairs weren't bad at all. I had already figured out compensatory moves in the last few years to get up and down those stairs.

I called the out-patient rehab facility - actually called the Sports Therapy Center. It makes me laugh to think a cryp such as I will be doing anything remotely related to sports. Their first opening with the recommended guy won't be until Tuesday.

Every day is better than the day before and

I shouldn't have waited so long.......

Sans Staples

2011-12-21T15:21:00.001-05:00

I got my 24 staples out yesterday, and only one hurt coming out. I had heard mixed reviews about this process, so was a little apprehensive. I took pictures, but only after the Doc put the steristrips on, so I'll spare you the cool picture until they fall off.

I graduated to a cane today. I will use the walker if I need it, but think I can put it away. I have only ever used crutches to do the stairs to get in and out of the house and on my walks and will continue this until I feel comfortable with a cane outside.

Pt boy came for the last time. I have 1 degree of extension where 0 is the goal, so I am really happy. My flexion is 120. I'm not sure what the goal for that is, but I know it's good because I always get a smile when it's measured.

City Girl is home for the holidays. It is so nice to be able to spend so much time with her. She doesn't have to go back until the 13th, so we'll have a lot of time to visit. If my improvement continues, maybe we'll even get to go shopping - something I haven't been able to do with her in years.

When I woke up this morning, my left knee hurt more than the right, so this is amazing progress.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. I know mine will be great!

Well I'm Pumped

2011-12-12T18:28:00.001-05:00

It's been one week since parts of my leg were sawed off and I see a tiny bit of improvement every day.

Pt man came today. He didn't seem as rushed, and laughed when I asked if I was his last torture victim for the day. He threw a few new things at me, but I never cried or wanted to. The key for me was taking 2 tylenol along with all my other meds an hour before he came. I now feel the sweet hurt sensation when a muscle stretches as it hasn't been able to for 4 years.

Reto Man and I tried to go shopping at a very popular eatery/grocery store here called Mazzaro's. It's definitely the place that New Yorkers come shopping with their best holiday attitude. It's definitely no place for a cryp with a crutch, and I'll stay home next time.

I calculated the pain medicine I thought I'd need before getting the staples out on the 20th and called it in to the prescription hotline. However no one called it in to the pharmacy and no one called me. I'm a little confused, then, why the call it a hot line. I'm glad I don't need anything for a few days.

That's the update for today. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

6 Days Out

2011-12-11T10:05:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a good day despite pt guy trying to kill me. The pop in my knee doesn't seem to have produced any lasting damage. I got the crutches and went out the front of our house to the alley where our car is parked. It took about 10 minutes. We got Chinese take out and some movies from the Pawn Shop and came back and ate lunch.

I didn't do pt yesterday, but promised myself I would do it this morning. It wasn't that bad and I will go for a longer walk today up and down the alley using the crutches. I seem to bend over more with the walker and need to concentrate on standing straight since I've been bent over for 4 years.

Kind of boring, but better than bad news.

They Said There'd Be Days Like This

2011-12-09T20:34:00.001-05:00

I've been home since Wednesday and it's been so nice. I'm still trying to figure out the pain med thing so the pain isn't too bad, but at the same time I don't create more pain by falling over in a drugged up haze. Honestly sometimes (most of the time) I can't even focus my eyes when I'm on the percocet. I must look more retarded than normal.

The Home Health nurse came today and was able to get me an oral form of delauted. We'll see how that goes.

The PT guy came a few hours later. At one point I started crying and he angrilly said I shouldn't be crying. Oh really? I took the percocet 1 hour before he showed up. Did I forget to do a rain dance or something? As he hurredly went through the exercises, my knee popped loudly and made my leg jump. Then I showed him what crying is really like. I was more scared and shocked than anything. It is so funny how much I've cried in the last few days. It's more than the last 15 years of my life. Must be a side effect of that damn percocet.

Anyways, Retro Man hooked me up to the cooler thingy that takes ice water and circulates it around the knee. I figured this would be a good idea since PT guy said he never heard a knee pop like that before.

Note to self: Get someone who actually graduated from PT school.

Retro Man and I believe everything happens for a reason. When I found out that I was too anemic to get both knees done at the same time, I wondered what the reason might be for that to be a good thing. Truth be told, from a pain and balance perspective, one has definitely been enough.

But the phone rang today and it was the short term disability lady telling me that she was sending me some paperwork to fill out. There is a pre-existing clause for people who have been employed less than one year. I told her not to bother since I've been fighting these knees for 4 years.

So I am hoping to go back to work on January 3rd. I would not have had a chance of going back so soon with both knees replaced. Fate has helped me once again.

Retro Man and I are going for a walk at the park tomorrow. The weather is supppsed to be gorgeous.

Oh and City Girl comes home from College on the 19th!

I'll Be Going Home In An Hour

2011-12-07T10:42:00.001-05:00

Absolutely amazing. Within the last 48 hours I have had two bones sawed off, a new joint cemented in, a few moments of pain enough to brings tears, and today I am in less pain than before I went in. My leg can straighten out more, and it is no more swollen than Monday morning.

It's a really good day!

It's Just A Little scar

2011-12-06T13:00:00.001-05:00

WARNING!!!

Graphic images of my scar and new dressing.

OK I Cried A Little Bit

2011-12-06T11:25:00.001-05:00

PT was too much for the percocet. That stuff is like water to me. I am asking to go back to the delauted. However I did walk to the door and back and between that and some other things I did, PT guy claimed he was impressed and gave me 3 stars. Once I get these meds right, I will be able to do more. The nurse said today is the hardest day.

I sure hope so.

The Home Health coordinator came and talked with me. They will start coming to the house the day after I get home which looks to be Thursday now.

The doctor must have been smokin crack when he said I'd go home after two days with a double.

My blood counts got too low so now I am getting both units that Retro Man donated for me. Thank goodness we are the same blood type. My hemaglobin was 8.1. His was 13. I will feel like a million bucks after I get it all.

That's all for now.

Sent from my Samsung smartphone on AT&T

The Drugs Are Great!

2011-12-05T18:05:00.001-05:00

I haven't needed any pain meds yet, but the nurse said to just start anyway. So I'm getting delauted, or however you spell it, every 3 hours through the night.

I'm listening to Swinging Christmas on Pandora and singing along. What in the world was I so afraid of?

Well I may find out tonight. My new knee has pillows under it and ice on top. Tonight I go to a straight leg. The nurse said that everyone is different, but that I will probably like it since I'm moving around so much.

PT starts tomorrow. It took too long for the spinal to wear off today to do anything. Probably due to the noob sticking me so many times. I am still very numb, but can move both legs a little and they just feel like they are asleep.

All in all I am very thankful right now.

And That Is That

2011-12-05T09:37:00.001-05:00

Uneventful surgery. Unfortunately they would only do one knee because i am too anemic. Hopefully will hear when I can do the other one when I see the doctor tomorrow.

Had a spinal, which I would highly recommend. Perfectly coherent (or so I think) as soon as you're in recovery. Didn't get to recovery until1:30. It's 4:30 and I still can't move or feel my legs. I can tell it's wearing off though. That will be good because I am lying here like a sack of potatoes and would really like to move by myself.

One side effect of a spinal,however, is a slight chance for a wicked headache a few days later due to leaking spinal fluid. I am not too worried about this, however a resident poked me fifty times to do the spinal before the anesthitologist stepped to get 'er done. Hopefully so many more pokes will still seal and not cause any headaches.

City Girl recommended I download Pandora to my phone, which I did. I am listening to Swinging Christmas. It's great and very uplifting.

That's all for now. I so appreciate everyone praying for me and sending good thoughts my way. For now I couldn't be happier. I suspect having one knee done at a time will end up being a blessing.

Bye for now O:-)

Today Is The Day!

2011-12-05T06:08:00.003-05:00

I am playing with the Android Blogger app.

I don't have much to say except I feel very clean. I had to wash with this stuff for 10 minutes last night and this morning. It is the soap that surgeons use before they do surgery.

T Minus 12

2011-12-04T19:18:00.003-05:00

WARNING: Graphic images. Don't look if you don't want to see one really fucked up person.

Despite the fact that I'm sure I'll never make it, I'm posting 'before' pictures anyway hoping I can post 'after' pictures.

I know - how dramatic.

I'm so scared.

It's like climbing up the high dive for the first time. There's a line of kids behind you so you can't go back down. And you don't know what's going to happen after you jump off the board.

And you HAVE to jump.

Anyways. Here is a 'before' picture. Please disregard the sagging breasts. I breast fed my daughter and just turned 49 yesterday, so I have somewhat of an excuse.

This is me, really trying to stand straight.

Really.

I've been on a crutch resisting this surgery for 4 years. I finally gave up.

Tomorrow at 9:15 I will receive two new knees. Each knee will take approximately 1/2 hour to replace. This Doctor only does spinals, and I can be as awake as I want. I'm taking the amnesia pill.

For all of you who truly know me, if you post a comment, please keep any personal information about me to yourself. If I want my million blog fans to know something about me, I'd like to be the one to let it out.

Like the fact that I have saggy breasts, I'm 15 pounds over weight and can't stand straight. I'm removing nearly every shred of dignity to help just one person out there who might be as terrified as me and waiting WAY TO LONG to get this done.

Wish me luck. I hope to post soon.

All I Want For Christmas Is Two New Knees Please

2011-11-29T06:10:00.000-05:00

Surgery is December 5th. Yikes!

It won't be Tree stuff, but I will try to blog about my progress for my family and anyone else out there who may be contemplating the surgery and wondering what happens.

Warning - pictures will not be for the faint of heart!

A Shelter For Easter

2011-04-24T16:53:00.003-04:00

It is fast getting hot in Florida, so on Wednesday Retro Man decided to head up alone to Tree Ring to finish the Shelter.

For all of my new blog fans (I know you're out there), here are some links showing the progress of the Shelter.

2009/12: We Need A Shelter
2010/01: Off to the Woods - Finally!
2010/02: The Camper's Final Resting Place
2010/03: Tree Ring Time!
2010/05: Another Small Step To A Shelter
2010/06: The Shelter Gets Some Legs
2010/06: It Must Just Be Me
2010/10: The Shelter Gets A Head(er)
2010/12: We Have A List. We Just Have To Check It.

To give you some perspective, here is an aerial view of Tree Ring. The red dot marks the spot where the shelter is located.

Retro Man arrived around 2 o'clock in the afternoon, unpacked everything, and then it hailstormed for 3 hours.

Typical.

Wednesday night was filled with Chuck-Will's-Widow calls until 2 in the morning. Turn your speakers up and check it out.

Note to self: Put earplugs on your Country checklist.

On Thursday morning, instead of getting started, everything had to be dried out first.

Thursday night, the coyotes were howling. This also lasted into the wee hours of the morning. Check out Coyote1 on this page.

Friday, the Purlins went up.

Friday night was blessedly quiet. The Sheriff must have written tickets to the critters for violating the noise ordinance.

**SNORT**

Saturday, the roof went on, and this is our new Shelter.

Nice.

It's 20 degrees cooler under there. Just like we wanted. And it's nice and dry when it rains too.

Retro Man had expected to return yesterday, but because he lost a day drying stuff out, he just came back this morning.

Red as a lobster.

He put up the 3x18 foot roof sections all by himself. Heck, he built the entire thing by himself.

He is so awesome!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter. Mine was great in so many ways.

Why Would You Ever Need 3 Chainsaws?

2011-04-10T08:47:00.002-04:00

When 2 get stuck in a tree.

And that, my friends, is why we call it Tree Ring Circus.

This happened two weeks ago. The method we used to free them is another blog.

New Beginnings

2011-04-01T08:08:00.003-04:00

As some of you may have noticed, it seems as though I've dropped off the end of the earth. I've been occupied with life-changing events.

City Girl got accepted to Roanoke College, and will be starting there in 5 months. She will have a brand new beginning in a beautiful town at a wonderful school just down the road from her grandparents.

She turns 18 in June. Unbelievable.

I decided 2011 was a good year to start anew as well. I chose to leave my company after 24 years. I gave my two weeks notice yesterday.

Sometimes things just really get stale.

Actually I was really stale.

Despite the crippled economy, I've been fortunate enough to find a different job with better pay and will be starting in two weeks. It is a small company with less than 25 employees. 24 years ago I was employee 129 at a small company that, over the years, got acquired a few times until I was one of 65,000 employees. I want to go back. Smaller companies are more risky, but can be so much more rewarding to work for when people see and acknowledge the work you do.

Alongside all of this, I also chose to try a new therapy for my knees called prolotherapy, which appears to be helping quite a bit. I have moved from a crutch to a cane and don't look quite so ridiculous any more.

With all of this change, I just haven't been able to concentrate on blogging. It seemed like all I wanted to write about were things that couldn't be made public. Hopefully, I won't be so preoccupied and will be able to concentrate on Tree Ring a little bit more.

In my next blog I hope to show you the progress Retro Man and I have made on our trail. The path around the back 10 is complete, and now we are focusing on widening it.

The Last Sunset Of 2010

2011-01-05T07:13:00.000-05:00

We have found a new tradition.

Our very dear friends from Colorado visited us between Christmas and New Years. On New Years eve, we all went to the beach to watch the last sunset of 2010.

Even half way up in the sky it was beautiful.

All of us took pictures, including City Girl.

Looking back at the beach, the colors were striking.

The surf quietly lapped against the shore as we waited.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

I hope everyone has a happy, healthy, and wealthy year!!!

We Have A List. We Just Need To Check It Twice

2010-12-26T12:59:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Here in the City, we had a wonderful, relaxing time, and were very thankful for the 70 degree, sunny day.

Talking to our family around the States, I realized that I had not posted the latest pictures of the Shelter progress.

In November, RetroMan put up a lot of the rafters.

In early in December, he continued putting them up. Working alone is a hard job.

Our resident gopher decided to have a look at what all the noise was about. RetroMan managed to keep working without injury despite the ladder sinking into the gopher holes.

Though it is 16'x24', the Shelter blends in nicely with the surroundings. Here is a view from one of the trails we've been working on.

The last of the season's flowers are beautiful - or maybe they're seed pods.

The berries are barely hanging on.

Last weekend, in true Tree Ring style, we went up to continue working on the Shelter, but realized after we arrived that we didn't bring the keys to the Camper.

The compressor is inside the Camper. Unlike the last time RetroMan broke in, he couldn't figure out a way to get in this time.

Note To Self: If you are going to make a list so you don't forget stuff, you better read it.

While there was no progress on the Shelter on that visit, we did do some more mapping of the property lines instead. There are no bounds to the beauty of Tree Ring. We are thankful every time we visit just how lucky we are.

On the way back home, I captured this beautiful sunset against the trees.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy New Year! I am excited about the boundless possibilities of 2011!

Some Presents Are More Fun To Give Than Recieve

2010-12-19T13:18:00.000-05:00

While putting up our Christmas decorations, we found a present that Retro Man gave City Girl a few years ago.

It was a bulldozer he thought she could use to help clean up her bedroom.

She asked him not to give her funny presents any more.

5 More Things about Me

2010-11-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

1) I always leave a tablespoon of food on my plate, but always have room for dessert.

2) I prefer to read magazines and newspapers from back to front.

3) I started cussing in the 8th grade. I looked like such a sweet, innocent, girl next door and I so enjoyed the look of shock on people's faces when I cussed. I had to get over that childishness when I had a child, and have been (mostly) cuss free for 17 years. Now my child is almost an adult, and I can tell I am starting to enjoy it once again.

4) When I was young, sometimes we would all pile in the car and my father would just drive. Invariably we would get lost, but the joy of it all was discovering something interesting in the middle of nowhere. We would always end up at a major road, and the challenge of figuring out where you were was a lot of fun. I still enjoy doing this today.

5) I went to college at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia - the Turkey Capital of the World. Class of '85.

Please also see 5 Things About Me and send me blog links about you.

Spiders Make Me Nervous

2010-11-22T09:16:00.002-05:00

Traveling around Tree Ring on the Polaris is so much fun. Except when you run into a giant spider web with a giant spider on it. This happens quite often, and it seems like the spiders in Florida are gigantic.

Enter my crutch. It is useful for so many things besides helping me walk. One if them is spider web whacking. I drive, and Retro Man wings that thing like it's a machete.

Sometimes we get friends.

They've never landed on me.

Yet.

But my heart gets thumping every time we encounter one on the trail. When I've walked up to one on a web to get a close up, it quickly shakes like it is going to jump on you. It's really freaky. I'm always concerned they are going to jump on me and bite.

Fortunately, a little research shows this to be false. According to the Shady Grove Training Center web site:

Golden silk spiders are very non-aggressive, and in all my years here, I have only heard of 2 people being bitten. They got a welt that went away in a couple of days. They normally do not bite unless you smack them first. If one lands on you, all they want is "off".

Ok, so I'm cool.

And I'm not researching any more in case someone else says there is a variant strain that DOES enjoy biting people.

Be sure to check out what Shady Grove wrote about the predictive powers of these spiders and Hurricanes.

So far, besides the Golden Silk spider, we've found what Florida Girl says is a Flower Crab Spider. And of course I blogged about the Garden Spider attack.

Now bees and wasps, that's another story. I have a barely controlled fear of them, and am known to run (ok, hobble) shrieking like a little girl.

Fortunately there have been no incidents to blog about.

Memories Of The Paddling Geek Squad

2010-11-07T14:34:00.010-05:00

I don't usually have the speakers on while reading blogs, but I did today and heard some beautiful music coming from J'ellen In The Black Hills' blog. Apparently you can play music from Playlist.com on your blog for free.

I asked Retro Man what we should play on our blog.

Deliverance.

Ah yes, Dueling Banjos. It is so fitting for so many reasons.

With all of the strange circumstances that seem to follow me at Tree Ring, like our Camping trip, or when I thought the neighbor was going to attack us, or when we thought we had a Sasquatch, I am always expecting some Deliverancy kind of thing to happen. These are just the ones I've chosen to write about.

However it didn't just start with Tree Ring, and it is just me. Retro Man is just an innocent bystander.

The best, and perhaps first, Deliverancy situation happened 20 years ago before Retro Man and I were married. I was right out of college working at my first IT job. My co-worker Dave, who was older and generally a trouble maker, thought it would a great idea for eight of us right-out-of-college software engineers to go on a 3 day canoe camping trip in West Virginia in October. Most of the engineers had never been camping, much less knew how to paddle a canoe.

At this point in the story I urge you to turn on your speakers.

Dave taped the entire Deliverance movie on his tape recorder, and played scenes every day at lunch until that weekend. We all thought it was really funny.

The morning of the Big Day, Retro Man fortuitously decided to bring some motorcycle rain suits for he and I to wear, because a cold front was coming and it looked like rain.

We all met at the Canoe Outfitter, who asked how many people had canoed before. Only Retro Man and I raised our hands. The Outfitter was worried, but reluctantly loaded us up in a bus and took us to the river anyway. The Outfitter turned to me and asked which way is upstream. I made a guess, and apparently it was wrong, because he shook his head and looked up in the sky. He turned to RetroMan and showed him how to make an emergency shelter with the canoes. After asking all of us about 10 times "Are you sure you want to go", we were off.

Dave, who wore a T-shirt and a down vest, had bought a cool fishing hat into which he hooked a giant neon pink fishing lure. It was really funny. His Canoe partner was John, the youngest software engineer.

We were out about 2 hours and the rain started falling harder. It started getting colder. But we really didn't notice, because it took a lot of effort to paddle down the river. After a couple of hours, we pulled the canoes over to eat. Thankfully Retro Man had brought pepperoni, cheese, and bread. Everyone else brought wine, beer and cigarettes.

The West Virginia river was in the middle of a deep valley. There was no bank for all of us to stand on because it was raining so hard. So we climbed 20 feet up the mountain and stood in a line passing the pepperoni back and forth. Then the cheese. Then the bread. After about 20 minutes of silently passing food back and forth in the rain, we were all shivering and shaking and got back into our canoes to warm up.

About an hour later, Dave and John's canoe got stuck on a rock. Dave just hopped into the river to free the canoe, but it took off without him, so he jumped up onto the rock and waited. The rest of us sat in our canoes watching John desperately paddling to try to get the canoe back to retrieve Dave, who decided this was a perfect time to light up a smoke and wait. In the freezing, pouring rain, with a T-shirt and a vest, and his pretty pink fishing lure sticking out of his fishing hat, he smoked a 1/2 a pack before John was able to retrieve him.

At this point we all hoped we were close to the camp ground where we were supposed to spend the night. The Outfitter told us it would be at a corner near some uprooted trees.

Well that was an understatement. There was a log jam of about 15 giant trees piled up 40 feet high on the river bank. We found a spot to pull in and immediately Retro Man had everyone turn the canoes over and lay them next to each other on the giant roots of ones of the uprooted trees so we could get some protection from the rain.

Fortunately, Doug brought some kerosene, which we used to light a fire on some wet wood using Dave's lighter.

At this point, Dave started to shake pretty violently. While all of us were dangerously close to hypothermia, Dave had it full blown. Fortunately he had some dry clothes in a plastic bag.

Under the canoes, next to the tree roots full of spiders and cob webs, with the rain falling softly around us, we all pretty much stripped in front of each other to get on dry clothes. At this point, it was a matter of life or death. After most of us warmed up, Doug noticed a road across the river and commented that he couldn't believe he was going to die within sight of civilization. After a time Dave started to shiver less, and we all decided to put up our tents and try to get some sleep.

Retro Man, always prepared, saved his geek future wife's life by having warm sleeping bags, air mattresses, the rain gear, and a water proof tent. I wasn't sure everyone else would all make it through the night.

I am so happy he knows nothing about computers.

At first light we all got up and could finally see where we were. About 100 yards away there was an outhouse with just one toilet.

That was the camp ground.

Doug pulled out the Junior fishing pole set he had bought at Kmart. Still in the box, he broke it half over his knee and cried, "I hate camping! This sucks!"

Just as we all decided to end the trip and try to find a phone to call the Outfitter to come get us, a rusty, red '64 Chevy Impala that tilted slightly to one side came towards us out of no where. A heavy set woman with some missing teeth got out of the car, and asked us to pay up for the night at the camp ground.

Restraining Doug so he couldn't rush her, we decided to pay her so that we could use her phone to call the Outfitter. We asked her if she had a phone. No, but her neighbor did.

An hour later, the Outfitter came and rescued us. He seemed very relieved and said it was supposed to snow that night. Back at the Outfitters, everyone except Retro Man and I threw their camping gear into the dumpster before they left for home.

Years later, everyone on that trip went on to become multi-millionaires during the Tech Boom, and most don't have to work any more.

Except me. I moved to Florida to have a less stressful life and have babies.

Retro Man and I still have the rain suits, and we can go canoe camping in the rain any time we want.

But we probably won't.

So I added Dueling Banjos to my Blog. I hope you enjoyed the story and the song as much as we do.

Don't Cross That Line

2010-10-24T10:45:00.001-04:00

Ahhhh, we arrived.

The flowers were still blooming.

We hydrated up.

There's water in that Sherry bottle, I swear.

Then Hit the happy trail.

Some of the older trails are starting to look awesome.

Fall is definitely here.

No TRC trip would be complete without some mishap.

The pull cord broke.

But Retro Man is used to calamities and came prepared with another chain saw.

Mmmmm. That's a pretty big tree that needs to come down.

This video was laying on it's side, but I used VirtualDUB to rotate it. Not sure how well it will work out, but I tried.

The sound of that tree falling was awesome. I guess you had to be there. Being a city slicker and all, I am easily impressed.

We got to one of the neighbors' known boundary markers (not share by us unfortunately), and measured about 100 feet in the general direction of our southeast boundary marker using this.

And while measuring Retro Man almost stepped on this.

Retro Man better stick with engine repair because he can't seem to get a grasp on the point and shoot.

I compared the snake to the diamondback at the end of this post, and I don't think it is the same. Maybe it is a hog snake like Pure Florida blogged about today. Or the rat snake we found last year. What do you think?

Retro Man stood at the presumed southeast boundary marker and used the trusty compass to start our orienteering.

Thankfully we both agreed on the angle we should be shooting with the compass. This involved finding out the magnetic declination and subtracting it from the direction in the property description.

Here's the property description once you are standing at the South East corner property marker:

Thence North 09 degrees 41 minutes 05 seconds West, 1830.63 feet to a point on the boundary .... blah, blah, blah.

I plotted the points I took in the GPS using Google. In case you didn't know, just put lat/lon coordinates into Google separated by a comma, and your point will be displayed in Google maps. The blue marks are the points I took yesterday.

Hmmmmm. Looks like we're a little off on our calculations and may have blazed a bit of trail on our neighbor's property.

This morning Retro Man and I decided that we shouldn't have to account for magnetic declination, and that the direction listed in the property description is the direction we should be shooting from the corner. Anybody have thoughts on this?

Our day ended with another 4 mile jaunt through on the neighborhood road. We always turn around at this cattle farm.

It really is beautiful. It used to have cows on it, but we haven't seen any in about 6 months. It's owned by some guy in Orlando and I pray that he isn't going to develop it some day.

Trail Blazers R Us

2010-10-22T07:08:00.000-04:00

The last time we were trail blazing, I took GPS points every 5 feet or so and then overlaid them onto a picture of Tree Ring.

Looks like we had a little moonshine from the still before we got started, huh? Because Tree Ring used to be part of a honest to goodness tree plantation, the trees are planted very close together. Getting through them has been quite a challenge, and we definitely need to thin them out.

We figured we would try to first blaze a trail to the back, then across, and then up the right side to the center. After that, we could decide whether that trail is adequate for a fire break, or whether we need to create alternate paths.

We're going up tomorrow to keep going. The goal is to make it to the bottom right property marker, and use the compass to begin following the property line up to the clearing. I doubt we'll get very far, but you never know.

Retro Man thinks he knows how to use a compass, so this ought to be interesting. I imagine there will be much yelling and gnashing of teeth, because I took orienteering too, so we're both 'experts'.

The big blob on the center-right is the large oak tree where the pop up is located.

TTFN.

One Of Those Weeks

2010-10-19T21:02:00.002-04:00

I work in the IT industry and this Clients From Hell post really made me chuckle.

"Please call me if you don't receive this email."

That's the kind of week I've had, and it's only Tuesday.

It went something like this:

Gary Larson Far Side

Hope you are having a good week :)

The Shelter Gets A Head(er)

2010-10-16T20:57:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhhh. The Florida Winter (June through September) is over, and now we are having Chamber of Commerce weather. It's dry and cool with blue skies and sweet smells.

On Friday, Retro Man picked up two 24 foot 2x10s and took them to Tree Ring to put headers on the front and back row of the Shelter. I joined him on Saturday morning.

Of course the trip couldn't start without a Polaris repair to replace the shift cable.

The Pop Up was waiting when I got there.

The tools were out.

The front header board was up.

Sorry about the picture quality.

Retro Man said he wanted to put the rear header board up before we continued our trail blazing.

This looks so much easier than it really was. In fact, there was a moment while I was taking pictures that I thought I might be documenting Retro Man's death. The pressure treated 2x10 was unbelievably heavy and at one point it was 50/50 whether he'd be able to push it high enough since it was slightly warped and wouldn't go into the notch at the top of the pole.

We sure are Country green beans, aren't we?

Lot's of fall flowers and neat grasses were out.

And some cool bugs too.

Uh oh. I think this is a Pine Borer.

And after a cool 4 mile ride, we found this 3 foot snake.

After some research when we got home, we discovered it was a diamondback rattlesnake.

Now that was sobering. Looking back on it, I guess I was a little too close.

Next visit some rafters go up.

You Never Learn Anything Unless Something Goes Wrong

2010-09-25T14:34:00.000-04:00

We arrived at Tree Ring with the Polaris prepared with an extra battery so we could jump it when it died, a grabber in case the fuel hose fell into the gas tank again, and every tool known to Man for whatever might go wrong while we were blazing a trail in our jungle.

We went down the path we made a few weeks ago to the very back of Tree Ring and our next challenge.

No problem a machete, chain saw and pick ax can't handle.

While I waited patiently in the Polaris giving helpful instructions, I noticed my bottom getting quite warm. As in, I had to lift myself up off the seat sometimes because it was so hot. Right at about the point where I was going to say something, Retro Man broke through the thicket and got through about 50 more feet of tangled mess before we came to a good turning point to go back and take a break.

So I put it in reverse to turn around, and that was it. The gear wouldn't budge and was stuck in Reverse.

Well, at least we were pointed in the right direction.

I put the parking break on. With a few choice words, Retro Man got out and reached way under the Polaris to manually put it into drive. Don't try this at home, folks. Unfortunately I was worried about running him over, so I didn't rev the engine enough, and it died.

So there we were:

Retro Man has been flinging a pick ax, chainsaw and machete through a complete tangled mess for a few hours in 90 degree humid heat.
The Polaris is pointed in the right direction, but stuck in reverse.
The Polaris is dead and won't start.
The battery is low and requires a jump from the extra battery.
Jumping the battery requires removal of the seat.
Once it starts, you need to throw the seat back on and jump aboard to hit the accelerator before it dies.
The Polaris won't start in gear because of some stupid safety feature.
I am a crip and can't help one bit.

WWMD (What would MacGuyver do)?

Well I'm not sure, but I stood quietly next to a giant banana spider wondering how long it would take me to hobble out of there while Retro Man worked his miracles to get it started again in the right gear.

Fortunately he didn't get run over, and we managed to get out of the Jungle alive.

There were plenty of bugs this trip. The love bugs were everywhere.

Love bugs are called that because they're usually loving. Like all the time. Even when they are flying. I don't want to think about it too much.

Can you spot the two grasshoppers?

There was a little spider that wanted to go for a ride, but I said no.

After bursting out of the Jungle, we decided to wing it and ride 4 miles on the neighborhood road. We floored it at 25 mph. What a blast! On the way back we retrieved everything that flew out along the way.

The Beauty Berries were out.

Beauty Berry

While researching Beauty Berries, I found a great recipe for Beauty Berry Jelly that Georgia Farmwoman posted on her blog.

Dotted Horsemint

Winged Sumac

Here is a puffer. At least that's what we called them when I was little.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

You pick it up and squeeze it and a puff of brown stuff comes out. If you know what it is, please let me know.

Mr. Green really needed a wash when we got home.

Retro Man says we need to buy another Polaris for spare parts.

I say maybe we should use this one for spare parts.

Steamy Saturday

2010-09-12T17:20:00.000-04:00

It's been so hot and rainy this summer, that we haven't gone to Tree-Ring as much as we'd like, but we finally made it last weekend.

We picked up the Polaris at the Storage Unit we rented near Tree-Ring. We decided to store it since we really don't have room for it and the trailer at the City House, and it would pay for itself not having to drag them both 5 hours round trip. Hopefully we'll get a barn next year.

It seemed sad and angry, and wanted to come out and play.

Retro Man pushed it out, and then went to start it.

In true Tree-Ring style, it wouldn't start, and was completely dead.

Retro Man had to recharge the battery, give a little thingy the Russian Fix (hit it on the side with a wrench), and put ANOTHER hose in the gas tank because it fell in again.

I guess it really was mad at us. Fortunately that didn't take too long, and we set off.

Once at Tree-Ring, Retro Man took his machete and continued to blaze a trail where we left off last time.

It was overcast and started to rain and was rather refreshing.

We made it to the back end of the property and tried to find a property marker with our metal detector.

We tried to use the GPS unit to approximate where to look, but no such luck. Every 5 minutes our location changed according to the GPS so that we never really knew where we were relative to the marker. It think it has trouble under trees and with cloud cover.

After a couple hours of trail blazing, we decided to head back for the last chore of the day. Weed wacking.

But not this pretty thing.

We were winding up a pretty relaxing, fun day, when this leapt out of the weeds and onto the tarp covering the pop up.

That thing was nearly 3 inches long. Retro Man swore it tried to attack him.

I was looking forward to camping in the Fall, but to be honest, I'm a little worried about sleeping with this thing around.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-02T06:59:00.001-04:00

The Sand Pear

2010-08-29T09:47:00.001-04:00

It's been too hot and rainy this summer to spend much time at Tree Ring, so I haven't written much. Instead, I've done a lot of researching and thought that fellow Floridians might be interested in some of it.

Eventually we want to grow food on our Tree Farm. Last week my co-worker mentioned she was visiting her Grandmother in Northern Florida and was hoping her Gma's pear tree had some pears ready. I asked her what kind of pear tree grew in Florida, and she told me it was a Sand Pear.

First, with my black thumb, I want to know if it has a chance of living. Yes, this looks like my kind of tree, as it seems to be fairly disease resistant. One web site said you can just put a branch in the ground and start a new one.

Nice.

Some web sites equate the sand pear to an apple pear, which is crunchy like an apple. Though it has a high water content, it can be used to may pies just like an apple. It supposedly has a slightly gritty texture, but I really didn't notice it at all when I ate the one my co-worker brought me after her visit.

It isn't a Florida native plant. Rather it is from Asia. In China it is a sacred fruit and apparently many sayings come from it, but in my research I couldn't find any.

It apparently grows in the northern half of Florida, so I assume it can potentially be grown in the Tampa or Orlando area. The trees with the lowest chill requirements are 'Hood' and 'Flordahome' and would be suited for the southern range. Some varieties listed on the University of Florida's web site:

Pineapple, Baldwin, Tenn, Flordahome, Ayers, Hood, Orient, Carnes

Here are links to some web sites that I used for my research:

http://wapedia.mobi- this has excellent pictures
http://www.floridata.com - a newly discovered Florida blogger
http://centralfloridagarden.blogspot.com - another newly discovered Florida blogger

Here are some online resources for purchasing a Sand Pear tree:

http://www.chestnuthilltreefarm.com
http://www.justfruitsandexotics.com
http://www.tytyga.com

If any of you are successfully growing pears, please share the variety and your experiences.

"Give Me My Snow Back"

2010-08-26T20:11:00.001-04:00

No not that snow.

That's what Retro Man said as we tried to watch reruns of our new favorite show Criminal Minds.

"We're going to need to stake **&#(*$&% place out as soon as (*&#@$.* hhhhhhhhh all night."

Silence.

No picture.

"No Signal" waved around the screen.

Yes, we're "one of those people" that refuses to pay for porn (cable) TV. We can watch it for free on ABCBSNBC if only the dang signal wouldn't break up. We live in the city for Pete's sake.

In the old days, the snowey picture wasn't great, but you could make out the words.

Ah, the Government. They always know what's best for us, don't they.

Maybe we'll hate it enough to throw the TV away.

I guess that would be good for us!

The Polaris Escaped The Garage

2010-08-07T13:50:00.001-04:00

I have good news to report. The Polaris is finally free!

After looking at it sitting forlornly in the garage for a year, we finally saved up enough money to buy a trailer. The trailer is 6x16, and was really easy to load.

We got to Tree Ring without incident (not a small feat for us). I had fun unloading the Polaris off of the trailer and parking it at the entrance of the trail.

Retro Man decided he should get the machete out of the Camper, so we could hack our way through the woods.

Surprise! In true TRC style, the camper door lock has broken. The key cannot unlock it.

Retro Man had to break in to open the door.

To do this, you have to lift up the cushion above the storage compartment, put your arm through, and reach for the door handle to unlock it from the inside.

Fortunately, Retro Man can contort himself like a pretzel.

Excitedly, we jumped onto the Polaris, and started her up.

And then she died.

We started her up, and she died again.

I can't express the disappointment we both felt not being able to proceed with the Polaris maiden voyage. You can't really ride them in the city, so we've looked longingly at the dang thing for a year, waiting to save the money to get a trailer.

With a few choice words, Retro Man pulled off the seat, and looked at the engine.

He determined that the fuel line fell off inside the fuel tank.

How bizarre is that?

We set off to the auto parts store, bought a $3 piece of hose and returned to Tree Ring and pouring rain.

It lasted an hour, but the wait was worth it. Retro Man fixed the line and we were off.

We discovered we have a bunny that lives on Tree Ring.

With the machete, we made our way to the back of the property.

The view was great.

We came across a tree stump.

Which was no match for the chainsaw.

We took GPS points on the trail, and I will try to plot them on a map so we can see where the trail is.

Thank goodness I married McGuyver, or we still wouldn't have had the chance to ride.

Hell On Wheels

2010-08-04T19:15:00.001-04:00

I'd rather give birth again without anesthesia than have hot flashes in the middle of summer in Florida.

But that's not what this blog is about.

It's about this.

And this.

It all started because City Girl and I decided to go on a Road Trip. She is interested in Colleges that are about as far away from from ~~her Dad and I~~ Florida as possible. We decided to leave the men at home (Retro Man and Sammie), and head out. We'd see a few colleges in North Carolina and Virginia, visit her grandparents in Roanoke, see my college roommate and her kids, and then return home.

We left on a Friday, and decided to stay overnight in Savanna, Georgia. Since we'd never been there before, we headed to the historic downtown to eat dinner. Now we live in an historic downtown when we aren't at Tree Ring. But this city was extraordinary. After just an hour wandering around, City Girl and I fell in love with Savannah.

The next morning, after detouring for pictures, we reluctantly continued on to look at a few colleges. Every college we looked at paled in comparison to the coolest town ever. We arrived at G and G's house on Sunday night.

Monday afternoon, City Girl, her Grandpa, her Uncle and I decided to check out Radford and Virginia Tech. On the way to Radford, I noted that the odometer slid past 85,000 miles. I remember thinking, "Oh well, the warranty expired. Thankfully we never needed it."

Note to self: Duh. You have got to be the dumbest person on the planet. Never tempt fate without knocking on wood (your head you idiot).

Radford was a yawn, and half way around the Virginia Tech campus, City Girl said the air smelled weird. By the end of the campus, I smelled it too. But it wasn't the Campus air, it was the Van's air. My Dad and I thought it was the radiator overheating, even though the temperature was fine. We turned off the air conditioner.

Thinking that back roads would be easier on the radiator, we drove 15 miles through winding roads in the middle of nowhere.

The smell seemed to be getting stronger, so we decided that getting home quicker would be better. I pulled onto the Interstate at Ironto, Virginia. Never heard of it? Me neither. But it sounds an awful lot like 'ironic', which is what this blog is.

As soon as I merged, I knew we were in big trouble. The steering wheel started shaking. Thankfully there was a Rest Area. I parked and pulled out the warranty information.

The odometer read 85,014. The warranty expired at 85,000.

I called the 800 number. We were covered for towing (who knew), but out of luck with whatever was wrong with the Van. "I'm sorry ma'am, but the odometer reading is over 85,000. It doesn't matter that your car had a meltdown at 84,999. The Tow truck will be there within 45 minutes."

I was never so glad to see a Tow truck.

My Dad left with the Tow truck driver, and City Girl, my brother, and I hung out on a bench in the shade under a tree waiting for him to come back. There were vending machines, and I got to try out some expired Cheeseburger flavored Doritos.

They tasted as crappy as they sound. I felt like the homeless in the City where I live. Maybe I could find some paper and make a sign: "Automobile Warranties Suck! I kill cars, and need money to get home. God Bless."

I called the Shop the next day and they were able to look at it that afternoon. Frozen brake calipers had warped a rotor. It got so hot that the cap to the tire melted. I think given those hills, we were really lucky.

We got the van back from the shop on Wednesday, $550 lighter, and decided to head out the next day to visit my college room mate.

I woke up Thursday morning and City Girl came into our room and whispered "I think Dad died". WHAT?! "No, hun, I'm sure Dad's all right", I said as I got up quickly.

But...... he had gone to Tree Ring by himself and God knows what he did with that chain saw.

Nah.

"Grama said she has to talk to you, and you're going to need a cup of coffee."

Oh Lord.

So I went out and got a cup of coffee. As I came into the living room, my Dad said, "We have to talk".

Now I started getting concerned. I've never heard my Dad say those words before. And certainly not with such a somber look on his face.

I started to worry. Maybe the love of my life really did saw off a leg.

"Your Mom ran into the Van this morning."

I just started laughing. My Mom was crying, my Dad looked like someone died, and all I kept thinking was that my husband still has two legs.

Well, the Van sure looks lived in now.

When I got back to work and told my story, two of my co-workers said their parents had driven into their cars recently. Must be something in the air.

As for City Girl, she decided she loved Roanoke College, but we really can't afford it.

I hope our next look at Colleges isn't so fraught with peril.

Living On The Edge

2010-07-17T13:39:00.003-04:00

Thank goodness computers lie.

The previous record was 6.

It Must Just Be Me

2010-06-30T22:17:00.012-04:00

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law came from Ohio in their sporty Porsche for a visit.

They let Retro Man and I drive it. I don't think I'm a convertible kind of person. I looked like Ronald McDonald when I got out of the car. Besides, I get nervous thinking everyone is looking at me while I sing to the radio.

This is Lady Porsche laughing at me.

She is laughing because I am telling her that strange things happen every time we go to Tree Ring. She doesn't believe me.

Apparently she doesn't read this blog.

So we all went up to Tree Ring to finish putting up the poles of the Shelter.

The last few poles went in real nice.

And then it was time for a blackberry break.

They're looking really good right now.

After the break, the three of them went for a hike to the back of the property, and I got in the van and took pictures of the plants along our drive. Some came with butterflies.

Once I figure out what these plants are, I'll label the pictures.

So then comes the part of the blog that is

so

me.

As I was sitting in the van and looking around, I saw a lime green gecko climbing up a tree. So I jumped out to take a picture.

And then I heard a noise behind me.

It was the van rolling down the driveway.

Given the fact that I can't walk very well, I loudly yelled 'HELP', which was really useless, since the only thing that heard me was the gecko. I tried to run after it with my crutch, but had to jump out of the way lest it run me over.

Oh I know what you are thinking. That really wouldn't be possible. But Tree Ring has taught me that all sorts of things you never thought of are possible. It's the wilderness you know.

The look on Retro Man's face kept flashing before my eyes as I thought of ways to explain the unexplainable.

What in the world was I thinking? Even City Girl knows better than that.

I've wondered before on this blog if all of these strange things started happening to me since I met Retro Man. But no,

I THINK IT'S JUST ME.

Fortunately the van stopped without incident.

Thank goodness the hills aren't very big in Florida. It missed a tree by a foot.

The driver's door was pinned against a tree, so I had to get in the passenger side and maneuvered my way over.

Yes, I put it into park first.

This was not my finest moment.

I'm not sure what to do now. I think I'm dangerous to myself. And maybe others.

Certainly vehicles should be afraid.

Today is my 20th Wedding Anniversary. I am so glad my husband stuck with me all these years despite the fact that strange things happen to me. I love you honey.

The Shelter Gets Some Legs

2010-06-13T10:01:00.000-04:00

Oh my, what's this?

Why it's the truck delivering the poles for the shelter.

It even came with its own forklift. That is just so cool.

I really need to get out more.

We had to have the poles delivered to Tree Ring after making the mistake of thinking we could get them there ourselves.

Unfortunately, it was just about as hot as it gets in Florida. I just wanted to go up to Tree Ring, make sure the poles were delivered, and then come home. But Retro Man thinks he is 20, and decided he would meet the truck, camp for three days and put all 8 poles in.

I said no thanks, I learned my lesson the last time we were stupid enough to camp in this weather. But please take lots of pictures and tell me all about it.

So he did it all by himself. It was 95. And hot. And humid. Did I mention there are snakes, no A/C, or electricity?

The truck unloaded the poles, and he began cutting them to size.

He got the front right one in (as you're looking at the shelter) and called me.

It was around 2:00. He said it was really hot. He was sitting in the truck with the A/C on, trying to cool down. Thought he'd take a break and eat some lunch. It took about two hours to get that pole in. I told him to stop and wait until 6 when it was cooler. I'm picturing his blood turning to sawdust.

Nope, he was going to keep going.

At 9:00 he called me. He'd gotten 4 poles in. That was about 3 more than I thought he should put in.

All of the poles were supposed to be 5-6s. Meaning they were 5 to 6 inches in diameter. But one of the poles clearly shouldn't have been in the pile.

It was an 8-9. He said that thing weighed about 300 pounds.

Note to self: Always double check your purchases.

He knew once it went in the hole, it wasn't coming back out. Fortunately, his setup was good.

I asked him how he was feeling, and he said he was tired. And REALLY dehydrated. He took a shower with a home made contraption connected to a bucket of water.

The next morning he called after he got up. It had rained and thundered until 3 in the morning. Yuck. Thankfully the sides of the pop up stayed in place.

We agreed that he would do what he could until noon and then break camp and come home.

Around 2:00, since I hadn't heard from him, I gave him a call. He got two more poles in.

On the last pole, he got a little delirious and stirred the concrete so long it started to harden. He figured his body was about to give out, so he finished up to come home.

Next time we'll make it a day trip.

5 Things About Me

2010-06-08T19:46:00.003-04:00

To introduce myself to all of you, I thought I'd list 5 things about me you probably don't know.

Unless, of course, you are one of the people I told to read my blog so that it appears that I have readers. You know who you are.

THE FIVE THINGS:

1) I started out as an Opera major in college (there really is such a thing). But during my Junior year, my parents told me they weren't going to pay for me to get this ridiculous degree, so I majored in Geography instead. Primarily as a joke, because it was only in college that I realized that the British Isles are islands, that Great Britain was one of those islands, and that England is in Great Britain. Can anyone be so stupid and be in college? Apparently so.

I'm still not sure if the British Isles are considered part of Europe or not.

I'll guess yes.

2) I believe that curly potato chips taste better than flat ones.

3) I don't know anything about love at first sight, but the minute I met my husband, I knew I'd know him forever.

4) In 6th grade, Cheryl, Penny and I had a contest to see who could stay 100 pounds the longest. I lost first. Cheryl won because she always brought beansprouts for lunch. She was a vegetarian before it was cool.

5) My Mom used to call me Queeny. My real name is Sue. Once she jokingly called me in from outside "Sooo Eeee", like when you call a pig, and that started a trend.

I started out with 10 things, but decided to cut it down. I noticed my posts seem to be getting too long because of my incessant need to tell a story.

If you have any posts about you, please leave me a link in a comment.

Memorial Day TRC Style

2010-06-05T10:18:00.000-04:00

Our Memorial Day was pretty memorable, but not in the way that you think.

Retro Man and I were talking about presents for City Girl, whose birthday is coming up in a few weeks. We were trying to think of something unusual. Like black light bowling or something. But then we remembered that she isn't 9 anymore. She's going to be 17. Among the ideas we threw around was horse back riding. Yeah, that would be fun. We tried to talk to her about it. "That's cool", she said, "could I just get some money please?"

Hiding our disappointment, we acknowledged the truth. It's not that black light bowling or horseback riding aren't fun. It's that we're not cool. She's too cool for us. Showing up anywhere with Mommy and Daddy - especially for a party - is about the last thing she wants to do, birthday or not.

So we decided to go horseback riding by ourselves. It probably wouldn't be crowded on Memorial Day. Some day we hope to have horses at Tree Ring anyway, so we figured we should get in some practice.

City Girl went kayaking with her friends. I have to admit, that sounded pretty cool.

We got to the Stables, and I asked for a very mild, gentle horse since I'm a little crippled. The young handlers said, "Oh, you'll love Sophia. She's so gentle." and "She's my favorite horse!" Retro Man got a beautiful little Quarter Horse named Goldie.

Those are Sophia's brown ears in the picture. That's about as close as I ever got to Goldie. Sophia plodded along like she' rather be ..... damn near anywhere than on that trail. She went about 1/8 mile per hour, but she was very steady.

After a short time, Retro Man told the guide that came with us that she could go back to the stable now, we had it under control. "Are you sure?", I asked him. I'm thinking one small buck and I'm on the ground with numerous broken bones. I'm thinking Christopher Reeves. Handicapped people are really vulnerable.

"Oh yeah, we'll be fine", he said. The guide told us not to get off the horses, or they wouldn't let us back on. No worries, I thought. I can't get on or off without help anyways. She told us that the horses wouldn't go over the bridge because they know that it's the hour point and will only go back.

I swear no sooner did that guide turn the corner out of sight, when Sophia the "lovely" horse turned off the path and just stopped. Retro Man and Goldie were way far ahead at that point.

I yelled at Retro Man and told him Sophia wasn't budging and I should just call the stable girl back. "No, no, just give her a little kick", he yelled back. Well that's hard to do when one of your legs doesn't work, but I tried anyway. Nothing. I patted her on the neck and sweetly said "giddyup". Nope, she wasn't having any of it.

And then she turned her head and attempted to bite my leg.

First one leg, and then the other.

With stark terror and shaking hands, I pulled the cell phone out of my tank top bra and started dialing. I started whimpering. I was blind with terror. As I looked down to dial, I noticed a giant horse fly on my bad leg.

"H-ooooo-nnnn-eeee-yyyy, h-eeeee-lllll-pppp mmmm-eeee!", I cried as I desperately tried to shoo the fly away with the camera in the other hand.

Retro Man and Goldie galloped up to me like they were best friends coming to attend to an emergency. You know, just like in the Westerns - "Here I come to save the day". He hopped off his horse and grabbed Sophia's reins. She tried to kick him, but he jumped out of the way quick, then led Sophia and I into the shaded path, and hopped right back onto Goldie.

Just like that.

I was so jealous. Goldie loved him. Sophia hated me.

Sweet, my ass.

We got to the bridge that the stable girl told us about and I knew Sophia wasn't going across. Retro Man said he was going over no matter what. Sure enough, Goldie pranced right across, just like he asked her to. He went a short distance and then returned.

The rest of the trail ride was uneventful, thank goodness. Here is a picture of me with complete control of Sophia.

When we got home and told City Girl the story, she thought it was hysterical. I tried to tell her that the story is funny now, but at the time it was not. That made her laugh harder, which made me laugh at myself too.

During the story telling, Retro Man told me that when he went to get Sophia's reins, there was a bee on her nose and he brushed it off.

So then all night long I thought about poor Sophia. I misjudged her. She wasn't trying to bite me, she was trying to show me she had a bee on her nose so I could brush it off. I felt horrible. Sophia really was sweet.

My co-worker Heather, who grew up around horses, said no way. That horse was trying to bite you.

What do you think?

Sweet Saturday

2010-05-31T19:27:00.005-04:00

Saturday we escaped the city.

For this.

And this.

Phlox drummondii - Annual Phlox

And this.

We made the failed attempt to get poles for the shelter, and then arrived at Tree Ring to this.

But it just didn't matter. It was such a great day! Nothing could bother us.

We sat in the middle of Tree Ring and ate our standard fare.

It only rained a short time, so we went for a walk. The blackberries aren't quite ripe. Maybe two more weeks.

On our walk we found some interesting plants.

Asarum arifolium - Heartleaf Wild Ginger

Pterocaulon virgatum - Wand Blackroot

Dyschoriste oblongifolia - Oblongleaf Twinflower

Please share if you know what they are.

It was getting late, but we decided to go a longer way home, and found more beautiful plants.

Opuntia Humifusa - Prickly Pear Cactus

Turning a corner, we came upon the coolest homemade bridge.

Followed by our first Florida bunny sighting.

And a turkey and a deer hanging together.

How strange.

All in all a beautiful Memorial Weekend day.

Blackberries in two weeks! Yessssssssss!

Another Small Step To A Shelter

2010-05-30T14:39:00.002-04:00

After surveying the location of the four corners of the shelter, our next step was to get the poles to our property. This really sounds so easy, but has turned out to be hard.

Or I should say hard for us.

The Shelter will have four poles in front (13 1/2', 3' in the ground) and four poles in back (12', 3' in the ground). We decided we would get eight 14 foot poles and cut them to fit.

Please don't ask me why we don't get four 14' poles and four 12' poles. Apparently this isn't the way it is done. The only problem is that no one carries 14 ft poles. We finally found them in stock at Sparr Farm and Building Supply - more than 40 miles away from Tree Ring.

I was pretty skeptical that our little truck with a 6 foot bed and a 2 foot tailgate would be able to handle one 14 foot pole, much less eight of them.

No Problem, Retro Man said. Piece of cake, he said. These trucks are lot stronger than you think.

They look so benign, don't they? Almost like big toothpicks. How heavy could they be?

The Yard man quickly pulled out 8 good looking, straight enough poles.

He put straps around them to hold them together.

Using this cool thingy.

Then he and another Yard man pushed them in.

Just before the Yard man was about to lower the poles fully onto the bed of the truck, he asked, one last time. Are you sure you want to do this?

Retro Man looked at the logs and then at the tailgate chain.

And he decided to have them delivered.

There was no suspension and the tailgate looked like it had a big headache. The Yard man said he's seen 8 tailgates break off trucks this year.

Hopefully next week we will be able to figure out how to get the logs delivered to Tree Ring, which has no known street address. I wonder if delivery trucks have a GPS?

More About Pine Cone Seeds

2010-05-24T19:09:00.000-04:00

After some research, I wrote about pine cone seeds a few posts back, but now that we were surrounded by pine cones, I wanted to have a closer look for myself.

Here is the pine cone I started with.

I pulled away some of the scales at the bottom. You can see how the seeds sit between the scales.

They sit neatly between the rows.

The seeds were about an inch long and 1/4 inch wide.

I didn't see a nut looking thing on the end, but perhaps these seeds were immature. If I ever find a mature seed, I'll post again and let you know how it tastes.

Whitey Spidey

2010-05-16T17:23:00.000-04:00

As with all of you, it sure has been busy around here. We haven't been to Tree Ring in about two months.

But yesterday was the day! I don't have time to post much except this really cool blackberry flower photo.

You can just make out a white spider waiting for some lunch.

I want to call it a ghost spider, but I googled 'ghost spider' and this isn't it. If you know what kind of spider this is, please share.

The cold winter has delayed the growing season a little bit. A year ago this week the blackberries looked like this:

TTFN. More later.

Things I Don't Know About Farming #1: Where Are Pine Seeds?

2010-04-25T11:21:00.001-04:00

Retro Man and I noticed that a lot of pine cones had fallen on Tree Ring since the last time we were there, so we brought one home. We thought we could plant the pine cone and grow a Country slash pine on our City property.

But we looked closer and thought maybe there were seeds in the pine cone.

So we looked for the seed.

Not knowing what a pine tree seed looks like, we figured that you plucked one of the wooden thingies from the pine cone and the seed would be attached.

Nope. That thing wouldn't budge.

So we looked it up on-line.

The wooden thingy is called a scale.

Turns out there are male and female cones (duh, of course). The male cones are called catkins and are very small and fragile. They release pollen in the Spring to fertilized the female cones and then fall off the tree.

Female pine cones take 2-3 years to mature. While the female cones are closed and growing, they develop little winged seeds close to the center of the pine cone. When the pine cone opens, the seeds fly out and disperse seeds up to 150 feet from the tree. Many pine cones require fire to open and free the seed, which is true for the Longleaf Pine (my favorite), and one of the reasons that Longleaf is no longer prevalent due to the unpopularity of burning. A picture of some longleaf pine seeds can be found here.

The pine cone we brought home was open and didn't have any seeds. But we pulled apart some unopened scales at the bottom and found tiny winged seeds.

Something I didn't realize is that pine nuts are truly edible pine seeds.

So now we know where pine seeds are.

Living In The City #3: Weddings On The Water

2010-04-20T07:59:00.000-04:00

We went to the St. Petersburg Pier the other day, and saw something up close we had only seen far away before.

It's a church on the water, and it is used for weddings. As I turned to Retro Man to say what a great idea, we should.....

Mr Romantic saw the look on my face and pointed out that it wasn't free, and he was already married to me. We need the money for other things, like a trailer for the Polaris.

I have to admit it, I want the trailer more than another wedding.

Beedazzled

2010-04-18T09:40:00.000-04:00

A huge Queen's Wreath is located about two feet away from the car I use to go to work. For the last month, I've been dodging the bees as I get in and out, trying to make sure one didn't become a passenger. I'm kind of scared of bees.

In my rush, I never actually looked at the bees, but last week I noticed that there were many different types of bees.

This one was the prettiest. It has a shiney green body.

This is one is the most common type of bee I see on plants in our yard, and one I would term a honey bee.

But this one was totally unexpected.

He seemed like more of a schizophrenic bee, because he never actually stopped long enough at a flower to do anything. More like a librarian bee. He is what I would call a bumble bee, but definitely smaller than the type in Virginia where I grew up.

Even though I'm scared of bees, I hope to work that out, and have a bee hive at Tree Ring one day. If any of you know what type of bees these are, please let me know.

I Love Spring!

2010-04-15T08:16:00.000-04:00

It has been really busy lately, so there are more pictures than prose.

Some may think that is a good thing!

Silent Saturday

2010-04-10T18:06:00.000-04:00

The Smell of Spring In Florida

2010-04-05T19:02:00.003-04:00

At the City House, the Grapefruit tree has finally bloomed about a month later than usual. It smells devine!

Living In The City #2: Tow Be Or Not Tow Be

2010-04-03T10:45:00.001-04:00

Cell phones aren't allowed where I work, so when I came out and saw City Girl had called 9 times, I knew something was up. As I called her back, I was trying not to think worrisome thoughts since she just got her license a month ago.

Fortunately, it was nothing like that. It is Spring Break this week, and City Girl went to the beach.

There was no parking, so she parked here:

She and her friend returned an hour later and the car was gone.

Yep, it was towed. I commiserated with her on the phone about life's hard lessons, how much money did she have in savings, blah, blah, while she waited for her dad to pick her up.

Clearly, she shouldn't have parked in that spot, but there were no towing signs and the lot was nearly empty. She went into the store to ask about her car, and a young clerk said a freelance towing service came in, asked if any cars needed towing, and even though he said no, they towed her anyway. After she called the towing company, she called the manager that had been on duty at the time. The manager said it was all right for her to park there.

My husband and his Mom took City Girl to the towing lot. Two tow operators were pretty intimidating, as my husband pointed out big scratches on the hood. "You can't prove it, and besides the air bags would have gone off", they said.

Retro Man asked to see their contract. They said it was none of his business. They wanted cash - no checks, no credit cards. Thank God City Girl's Gramma was visiting and always has cash, because they were about to close, and it's a $400 storage fee if it stays overnight. I think that is a nightly fee, so in a short time the towing company can essentially own your car.

They paid, and then, with his hand covering to top of the contract, the tow operator said to sign at the bottom. My husband asked to read it, and the operator pulled the top printed copy off, pointed to the carbon and said "read it". There was nothing to read. The operator put the top back on, covered the top with his hand, and said "sign it". Parts were scratched out, like the "Auth By".

Retro Man signed it. It was the only way we were going to get the car back. It seems we have a trend of having our cars held hostage.

Retro Man found a consumer protection agency that is a watch dog for towing operators, and we're fighting it. Not because City Girl shouldn't have parked there, she shouldn't have. But because they scratched the car, and wouldn't let us see the contract we had to sign to get the car out of their lot.

In case you've never been towed, the consumer agency advice was to call the police if there are no towing signs.

I hope this story is useful for anyone who gets towed in the future. Hopefully City Girl will get her money back, but I'm not thinking she will.

UPDATE: City Girl will probably never get her money back, but it was a little sweet justice seeing that the towing company just got collared for towing other cars unlawfully.

Has He Got A Ticket To Ride?

2010-03-30T18:21:00.002-04:00

This little guy came home with us from the grocery store the other day.

If you know what it is, please share.

Update: Alan, with Swannee Refugee identified this little guy as a Chariesterus Antennatus, also known as a squash bug. Thanks Alan!

The Best Worst Vacation Ever - The Final Chapter

2010-03-27T08:38:00.003-04:00

Our Inaugural Camping Trip had become pretty dangerous. Days 1, 2, and 3 almost did us in. Please forgive me for the lack of pictures, but at this point we were just trying to survive. Pictures just weren't really important at that point.

We woke up, poured what little water was left between the three of us and waited. 10 o'clock became 11 o'clock became noon. Feeling like it was Ground Hog's Day, we realized the Dealership escort wasn't coming.

RetroMan said we were all just going to have to die before he went to Mr. PMOC's house again.

He decided he would walk to the nearest town, which was about 7 miles away. At that point it was at least 92 and heading for 96. My husband, God love him, thinks he's still 20. I told him that as dehydrated as he was, and as old as he was, he was likely to have a stroke walking in that heat. Of course that just made him more stubborn.

So be it, he said.

He decided to ride the Yammahopper as long as it would take him, and then start walking. He would take my cell phone, since it had reception in that little town, and call the Dealership as soon as he saw bars.

He took off around 12:30. Me and Snappin' Sammie just sat under the Oak tree and waited, and worried that the Love of My Life might be stroking out as I died of dehydration in the middle of nowhere. At least he would be found. No one knew where Sammie and I were. We'd be found years later. But first by coyotes.

Around 2:00, a truck came into the clearing. It was the Dealership escort. Later we would find out that he kept telling everyone he was supposed to pick us up, but they told him to wait because we would call. Now that's funny.

He asked where my husband was. I told him "just look on Rt. 1234 for someone dead on the side of the road, because he left an hour and a half ago to try and make it to a phone with reception to call you." I gave him the cell phone number, and he took off.

Sammie and I were getting hotter. And drier. About 4 o'clock things were getting a little desperate, and I was trying to think about Plan Z, when all of a sudden I thought I heard a noise.

A bright blue car turned the corner of the clearing and I just stared, praying that my husband was in there.

The driver side door opened and he shouted "Hi Hun! Get in this car and get some AC!"

And then I knew everything was going to be ok.

He had two cold Gatorades and some water for Sammie. I swear I saw Sammie smile.

We all sat in the car enjoying the air conditioning, and he told me his story:

The Yamahopper took me 3 miles down 1234 and then ran out of gas. I left it laying on the side of the road behind a bush, and then started walking. About a mile outside of town, about the time I was thinking that walking had been a really bad idea, a car pulled off the road just ahead of me. I thought it was the Dealership escort and hurried towards it. But a girl looked out of the drivers window, said 'you're not Jimmy', and drove off! I couldn't believe it!

I was at the edge of town, when I heard the phone ring. It was the dealership guy. He told me to wait for him. He'd be right there.

He picked me up, and we went to the Dealership. The Service Manager said he was sorry, but when they went to replace the gasket, there was too much sludge in the engine, and they needed $4700 to take the engine apart and clean it.

I'm not kidding. They were holding our truck hostage for $4700.

I told him thanks, just put the gasket on and I'll take my chances. Sludge won't hurt an engine. The Service Manager said he couldn't do that, so I asked to see the General Manager. The Service Manager said I couldn't see the General Manager, and at that point I got mad. I told him I used to be a Service Manager too, and I know how it works. Go get the General Manager immediately.

The General Manager came down and asked the Service Manager what was wrong. At this point a small crowd had assembled, and customers were watching. The Service Manager stuck his hand in the sludge and scraped a handful to show the General Manager. The General Manager looked at me and said, I'm sorry, the engine has to be cleaned.

My husband is a pretty benign guy. And a man of few words. But when he gets angry, he speaks in a very slow, low, very loud voice, and attracts a lot of attention. He's scarey. There's electricity around his entire body. I wish I had been there.

I told the General Manager that he was right. The engine was going to blow now that the Service Manager stuck his hand in the sludge. There was nothing wrong with the truck until he stuck his hand in there.

The GM and the Service Manager went off and talked for a few minutes. They came back and told me if I signed some papers absolving them of any responsibility, they would clean the engine for free, and the truck would be ready in the morning. In the meantime, they would get me a rental car at cost.

I signed the papers, talked to the mechanic to make sure he knew how to clean the engine properly, got the car and came here.

At that point RetroMan said he was glad we were staying only one more night.

I told him we'd be getting a divorce if I spent one more night there.

He's like a Marine.

Or a lunatic.

We decided to go home, and then I'd following him back with the van in the morning.

But first, we had to go retrieve the Yammahopper. We went to town, bought a gas can, filled it with gas, and found the Yammahopper. We decided to return on a longer back road, because the moped wasn't street legal, and we'd be less likely to be caught on that back road. So I followed RetroMan, and we slowly made our way 9 miles to Tree Ring.

After 3 miles, the Yammahopper died.

So, going 8 miles an hour, RetroMan held onto the car door, while I towed him 6 miles on a dusty road in the middle of nowhere back to camp.

We finally got back to our City house around midnight, roughly 84 hours since we started out. We were never so glad to have a shower. We got the truck the next day without incident.

We haven't been camping since.

It was such a great trip and horrible at the same time.

In the end, it all came down to this

It's the overdrive button, which is what you're supposed to push when you are towing. If you don't push it, pressure can build in the engine - enough to blow a gasket.

If we had only known.

But if we had pushed it, we wouldn't have

Known there was sludge in the truck and had it cleaned
Known the Yammahopper always dies after 3 miles
Switched cell phone companies so we always have reception at Tree Ring
Met our neighbor
Known how wonderful a shower feels after 4 days in 96+ heat
Figured out you don't really need a Potty Tent when you go camping
Known to camp with multiple rolls of toilet paper, lots of cash, a can of gas
Known what kind of photography City Girl was interested in

RetroMan and I were talking about this camping trip the other day, and we realized that some of the details were getting murky. Since this blog was named after this camping trip, I thought I would write everything down before we forgot all the details.

I hope you enjoyed the story and never go camping as unprepared as we were.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

The Best Worst Vacation Ever - Day 3

2010-03-22T06:57:00.002-04:00

Friday morning was just as beautiful as the first and second days of our Inaugural Camping Trip. The skies were that beautiful blue I've only seen in Florida.

We didn't have any more coffee, but we had one jug of water and a few burgers left over from the day before. At this point, we were a little smelly - it had been two days since our last shower, and it was started getting really, really hot. Unbeknownst to us, a record-breaking heat wave had begun the day we started our camping trip. We were used to the heat, but it was really getting oppressive.

During our camping preparations, RetroMan had made this really cool shower thingy. It just required electricity, which required the generator, which had hardly any gas because we thought it was safer to transport it that way, which we hadn't had a chance to get gas for, because our truck was on the verge of a total break down.

But we knew we'd be back in shape soon, as the Dealership escort would be there any minute, and we'd get on with our plans.

10 o'clock came and went. So did 11 and 12. At 1 o'clock we decided the escort had forgotten about us or forgotten where we lived. Either that, or the Dealership fixed the truck, sold it, and left us for dead. We realized there was only one person on earth that knew exactly where we were, and that was the Dealership escort.

As it happened, our nearest neighbor was a mile away. We discussed RetroMan going there to call the Dealership since my cell phone was useless. We had never met our neighbor, but we knew he was a prominent member of the Community.   For the sake of this story and his privacy, we'll call him Mr. PMOC.

Though we were embarrassed by our circumstances, we decided we needed some help, and got the Yammahopper ready. We figured it was nearly out of gas after our fun the day before. The little gas we had was in the generator, so RetroMan got a plastic cup, tilted the generator, and filled it 1/2 way.

On the way to the Yammahopper, the cup literally disintegrated in his hands. Apparently plastic and gas don't mix.

Note to self: Make sure you bring a full can of gas if you are going to rely on it to make everything at Camp work.

The only thing we had left to use was the empty bottle of Champagne we'd bought to celebrate our first night of camping. Very carefully, RetroMan poured what was left of the gas in the generator into the tiny bottle opening. This was no small feat, as the generator was very heavy and the bottle opening was very small.

He put it in the Yammahopper and was off.

About an hour later, he returned and told me this story.

The moped made it to their house and I parked on the side. I went up the side steps to the porch, around to the front door and saw that the front steps were blocked off. Worried that they had just poured concrete on the porch or something, I jumped off and went around the back. I could see a woman working through the window. I shouted and waved my arms to get her attention. She looked at me and then went right on working. So I started whistling.

At that point, the back door slowly opened and a man stepped out, presumably Mr. PMOC. I introduced myself and explained our situation, which, even to me sounded too bizarre to be true. Mr. PMOC asked me for the Dealership phone number and dialed it on his cell phone, which promptly died. He yelled to his teenage son to go get a land line, redialed the number, and handed me the phone. This entire time he didn't smile or say a word, though he did offer to take me to the Dealership. I spoke with a receptionist, who said the truck wasn't ready yet - they needed one more day, and they would pick me up in the morning.

At that point, a little wiener dog ran at me from inside the house, wagging its tail, the only one that was glad to see me. I petted her, got back on the Yammahopper, and told Mr. PMOC I was worried the dog would follow me back to our property. Don't worry, he said, the dog always stops at the end of the driveway.

Sure enough, that dog got to the end of the driveway and kept on coming with me, its tongue hanging out and its little belly almost draggin' on the ground. I was ready to turn around to head back, but thankfully the teenager appeared on his ATV, scooped the little thing up in his hands, and headed back home.

I can only imagine what Mr. PMOC must have thought talking to a man who hadn't showered or shaved in two days arriving on a 1970 Yammahopper claiming that his cell phone had no reception and that he needed to use Mr PMOC's phone to call a car dealership that was fixing his car but had forgotten to pick him up.

Yeah right.

So let's recap.

We have:

No cell phone reception
No vehicle
A Yammahopper with hardly any gas
A loaf of bread and some ketchup
No coffee
A headache because we haven't had any coffee
A potty
One disgusting roll of toilet paper
No Potty Tent
1/2 jug of water
No shower in two days
The only person who knows where we are is at a car dealership
The only neighbor we know thinks we're homeless and looking for something to steal

Well that was just peachy. I think it was at this point that even our fun meter was pegged.

It was hotter than Hell, and we just sat there looking at each other, and waited for morning to come.

Please return for Day 4 of The Best Worst Vacation Ever.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

We Lived To Tell About It

The Best Worst Vacation Ever - Day 2

2010-03-21T08:32:00.003-04:00

Thursday morning, the day after the rocky start to our Inaugural Camping Trip, we woke up to a beautiful, sunny day. Out in the country in June, it actually gets cool enough at night to need covers. This was a welcome treat, since we slept buck at the City House to save money on air conditioning bills.

We split what was left of the day old coffee and made a plan.

We had expensive things at the camp site like a 40 year old camper, a shot gun, and a generator, and I knew bubkus about truck engines. We decided that I would stay on lookout at the site with Snappin Sam, and RetroMan would take the truck to the Dealership about 20 miles away. He figured the truck needed a new gasket, which should take just a few hours to replace. Off he went about 10:00.

I sat myself and Sammie underneath the giant oak tree next to the camper, which was pretty much the only shade tree nearby. I ate a breakfast bar, and started drinking the second of three jugs of water we brought. It had started getting pretty warm.

First, I thought about emergencies. Even though I had Sammie, if we encountered a pack of Coyotes, I'd need something more to defend us. I checked the functionality of the knife tucked in my belt, mentally went over RetroMan's instructions for using the shot gun hidden under one of the mattresses, and then checked my phone to see how many bars I had.

None. Ironically, it said 'SOS'.

Well this was no surprise, as I had the same trouble on other trips to Tree Ring. But the week before, my co-worker Dave told me that when he went on vacation to Peru he had the same problem and told me how to fix it. All I had to do was go into Options, and then Networks, and pick a different service provider. He had paid roaming charges, but was able to call his parents from a different Continent in the middle of nowhere.

I did as he described. Sure enough there was another cell company listed. I picked it, and it said

Emergency Calls Only

Ok, so what the Hell does that mean? And how in the world would I describe where our lot was within 6000 acres of forest? And what denotes an emergency? I'm pretty sure 'woman with crutch and snappy dog run out of water' wasn't one of them, nor would 'I think my husband lost his way to the Dealership, or is broken down by the side of the road somewhere. Can you go find him?' I'd be damned if I would be the butt of a country joke, or profiled in the local paper where the news was pretty slow.

Note to self: Change cell phone companies, and never trust Dave again.

Here I was in the United States of America, and I had less cell phone service than someone in Peru who lived 10 miles by boat from the nearest road.

Trying to calm down, I checked out City Girl's camera. It was a Canon EOS we gave her last Christmas when she wanted to be a professional photographer. I got to know the camera, and checked out the 400+ pictures CityGirl had taken.

Note to self: Talk with City Girl about appropriate poses.

Around 2:00 I started to get worried. RetroMan wasn't back yet, and Sammie and I had just about finished the second jug of water. I was starting to get hungry. There were no more breakfast bars.

At 3:00, I heard a car in the distance. A truck slowly pulled into our clearing and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see inside the windows because of the tinting, so I didn't wave or even smile, but I was hoping against hope that my husband was in there, and I wouldn't have to use my knife.

"Hi Hun!", he said with a big smile as he got out of the truck. I let out my breath and took my hand off the knife. RetroMan gave 20 bucks to the guy that dropped him off who said he'd be back around 10 o'clock tomorrow and then took off.

His escort had been kind enough to take him to a bank to get some cash - we'd meant to do that on the way, remember - and then to McDonalds to grab some food. So we sat under the tiny remaining shade of the oak tree and ate our burgers, trying to figure out what to do with what was left of the day.

Note to self: Always bring cash. You never know when you'll need it, or who you'll have to pay because of your stupidity.

RetroMan decided to cut down some trees with our new chain saw. After cutting down three trees, it was official - we were now Tree Farmers.

Then we decided to take some turns on the 1970 Yamahopper we brought, which is illegal in the City.

Night fell, the toilet paper had dried out, and life was good again.

Please return for Day 3 of The Best Worst Vacation Ever.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

We Lived To Tell About It

The Best Worst Vacation Ever - Day 1

2010-03-20T08:37:00.003-04:00

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there", Captain Ron

Last June RetroMan and I decided to go on our Inaugural Camping Trip during what turned out to be the first week of a record-breaking heat wave. We decided to go on this trip without City Girl, so that when she deigned to come with us, we'd have all the kinks worked out.

She was spending the week at a different camp that had adult supervision.

We had spent a couple hundred dollars and a few weeks in preparation, but we were ready. We packed up the camper that hadn't been used in 10 years with just about everything one would need - toilet paper, a new porta potty, a generator for the air conditioner, a box of breakfast bars, matches, etc. We didn't need much, since we were only going for a few days. We'd get cash and gas for the generator on the way.

We got our coffee and were off.

About 40 miles outside of Town - DING, DING, DING, DING. We looked at the dash. No warning lights. Well that was weird. We stared at the dash for 5 minutes. Then looked at each other and shrugged. It must have been nothing. DING, DING, DING, DING. We looked at the dash again. Nothing. This went on a few more times. It was just starting to get retarded, and then we saw the NO OIL PRESSURE light. The master of understatement said, "That's not good".

We took the next exit and stopped at the Flyin J Truck Stop. Thank God for the Flyin J. RetroMan checked the oil AND THERE WASN'T ANY! He checked that dip stick twice. He got 5 quarts of oil and unbelievably the truck drank it all. Since we only owned the truck two months, we thought maybe we bought it that way.

Note to self: Don't buy used vehicles. But if you do, make sure they have oil.

We decided to keep going, and fortunately there was no more DINGing. We got off the highway at our exit heaving a sigh of relief, and I'm not kidding, there went the DING, DING, DING, DING. Fortunately we were near the last gas station before the middle of nowhere. Sure enough, there was NO OIL. We got 5 more quarts of oil, and the truck took 4. In one hour, we had just put 9 quarts of oil in the truck and had 1 to spare. For the next 30 minutes, we waited for the DINGing, but all was quiet on the Western Front. Numerous stops to check the oil showed that the leak had stopped.

Since it looked like the worst was over, we decided to head to Tree Ring. As we came to the clearing where we decided to set up camp, there was our friend Ron, mowing with his tractor. As we talked, some clouds started gathering. He said "Don't worry, it hasn't rained here in weeks". Before he finished the word 'weeks', we heard thunder in the distance.

After Ron left, RetroMan popped up the Camper and then put up the Potty Room.

Ok, so it was more like a mini garage with a bathroom.

Sure enough it started raining. But we were happy. We made it! The wind started picking up, and I stood to hold the sides of the pop up from blowing in. "This is going to be the best trip ever!" I yelled over my shoulder. I couldn't hold all of the sides at once, so RetroMan had to help, and for 45 minutes it poured. As we held up the sides of the camper, we talked and laughed until the rain stopped.

Then we threw the door open to go outside.

Good Lord the Potty Tent was gone!

We looked around, and 100 yards into the Forest, we saw the Tent. RetroMan went to get it.

It was totally destroyed.

So was the only roll of toilet paper.

There was nothing left to do but break the Potty Tent into pieces, and play.

Doesn't that Potty look lonely?

Night was starting to fall, and since it had just rained, we couldn't build a fire. So we just set out our chairs, looked at the thousands of stars in the black country sky, talked about how fortunate we are to own such a beautiful piece of paradise, and ate some breakfast bars.

We decided we'd go to the Dealership in the nearest town in the morning.

The rest of the night was uneventful except for City Dog Sammie continually barking at what he thought were animal eyes glowing in the dark at the edge of the clearing. We kept telling him they were fireflies, but he wouldn't listen. He wasn't too happy about the Coyote howls off in the distance either. Neither was I, but I hadn't read anything about Coyotes attacking humans. Besides, RetroMan gave me a knife that I'd snapped to my belt buckle. Between that and my crutch, I was ready for anything.

That was Day 1. Please stay tuned for the continuation of The Best Worst Vacation Ever tomorrow.

Day 2

Day 3

We Lived To Tell About It

I Grow Trees So They Can Be Used For This?

2010-03-17T20:21:00.002-04:00

It had been a few days, so I went to the front porch to get the mail and returned to the living room with an arm full. RetroMan said that it was all mine. Actually he said it was all for someone known by my maiden name. Ya know, like me marrying him was the cause of all that mail.

So I said I would tally it up, and bet that he would have more than me.

The first one was addressed to RetroMan, and it was a replacement credit card. He opened it, complaining that card companies should print the activation number big enough for old people to see. I told him I don't know what he's talking about - the AARP isn't sending me mail just yet - I checked.

I put the mail addressed to 'Our Friends' in 'Resident'. I wasn't sure where to put the piece of mail that had an initial instead of a first name, since RetroMan and City Girl have the same first initial. I put it in RetroMan's count since it was from the Alzheimer's Foundation.

Apparently, even though the Census Bureau just moved into the White House, the Federal Government doesn't know our names yet, because the Census forms are addressed to 'Resident'. That's good, because the less the government knows about us, the better.

The total tally:

RetroMan: 6
Me: 5
City Girl: 2
Resident: 4

Ok, so marrying me didn't cause him to have more mail.

RetroMan lost interest in the mail and had me check the water restrictions in our city, since he's having his annual urge to plant new grass just as the worst drought of the year begins.

It's still one day a week. I told him the only thing that will grow in that darn front yard is jasmine.

He told me to stick with counting the mail - the only plants I'm good at are plastic ones.

All righty then.

Snappin Sam

2010-03-13T09:20:00.000-05:00

About 10 years ago when City Girl was 6, we discovered her lost hamster flattened under a pile of toys. After a few tears, City Girl decided it was time for a dog.

At that time, Shanna Banana lived down the street. On our nightly walks, sometimes we'd stop by Shanna's house and walk with her and Chester, a Sckipperkee she had gotten from Schipperke Rescue. Chester was so cool. He listened to Shanna, was friendly, and of course very cute. He even stopped at every intersection to wait for her.

City Girl and I did some research on Schipperkes. Headstrong? No problem, look at Chester. Some like to run away? No problem, look at Chester, he always stays by Shanna's side. They shed once a year? Perfect.

RetroMan didn't want a dog right then, and certainly not such a sissy one. His last dog was a 160 pound Mastiff named Blockhead.

But City Girl wrote out 101 reasons why we should get a dog.

And RetroMan caved.

When they say that life has twists and turns, it's situations like this they are talking about. One decision can change your life forever and put you on a course you never expected.

We contacted the Schipperke Rescue lady, and she had the perfect dog for us! His name was Sammie and he'd come in a few days ago. He'd been with a family of children and he was very friendly. Why did they give him up? Because they just had a baby, and it was too much to take care of the dog.

Awwwwwww, we thought, we're the perfect home for him.

The Rescue lady said she'd be by our town in about a week. She was taking all of her dogs in her Winnebago and going to a Skipnic - a Schipperke picnic where Schipperke owners get together with their dogs.   But if we wanted, we could meet her at an exit on the Interstate and do the trade.

The next day City Girl and RetroMan met the Schipperke Rescue lady at the Flyin' J off an exit on I-75 and got Sammie.

As I pulled into the driveway that night, RetroMan came out of the house with the dog hanging out of his hands and said "Call the vet and have them stay open." The dog had bitten City Girl and there was bloody diarrhea all over the house.

Thus started Sammie's life with us.

As it turned out, we were his 4th family in his 5 short years. It appeared that the family with children had abused him, because any time children went to pet him, he shied away or nipped at them. He also had severe food allergies. He shed like nobody's business, and he ran away at every opportunity.

Fast forward to today, 10 years later. He's adjusted to us - or rather we've adjusted to him. He's been to obedience school, and listens to us when he feels like it most of the time. He doesn't want to run away any more.

We found one brand of dog food he can eat, but we can't give him anything else - not even bones or treats. Unfortunately every winter he eats the acorns that fall on the ground and has diarrhea, so we have to wash him a lot.

He is an excellent watch dog. He looks up and down the street through our wrought iron fence to see if anyone is daring to pass by 'his home'. If the weather is nice and lot's of people are out, he'll bark like a madman until we sometimes have to muzzle him for an hour.   His vigilance has saved us from at least two attempted break-ins here in downtown that we know of.

We call him Snappy now, even though he hasn't bitten anyone in about 9 years.

While he's at least 15, you'd never know it - except for a few gray hairs on his chin, he looks and acts just like a puppy.

He hates baths.

And when he's wet, you can see that underneath all that hair he's really not much bigger than some chihuahuas.

He loves riding in the car, even though the car doesn't like him, and his favorite place is Tree Ring.

Some days it's really a challenge to own Snappin Sam, but most times we are glad we have him, because we know nobody else would take care of him like we do.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-10T08:06:00.000-05:00

Life Evens Out

2010-03-07T18:30:00.000-05:00

My husband is unique. Some would say eccentric. It's partly why I love him.

One of his favorite things to do is to find things for free. It's kind of like a game.

You know those sweepstakes that the local car dealer sends to "The Occupant" at your address saying that if your numbers match you'll win a new car, or at least $1,000? Just come down and get it Saturday afternoon, and while you're there get a free hot dog. Well, if we get that mailing, we're there eating free hot dogs for lunch on Saturday afternoon.

Now you know why City Girl is so embarrassed by us. When she was littler, we'd always take her along.

Have we ever won? Nope. But we've gotten lots of free food, and met some interesting people.

But today was his lucky day.

RetroMan went to the auto store this morning to get a new car battery, due to the strange circumstances that happened yesterday.

He came home all excited. There was free coffee and doughnuts, and we had to go back because there was a drawing at 2:00!

We arrived at 1:59. I sat in the car texting City Girl to keep her apprised.

Dad's at the auto store. They're having a drawing at 2:00. 5 cars in the parking lot not including ours.

Haaaaahaaaaa. Can he get me some leather cleaner for my car?

1 guy just came out without any bags. You don't own a car.

Yippeeee! You know what I mean!

Another guy came out without any bags.

Awesome! Did we win?

IDK, not yet.

And then there he was.

I could tell right away he had won!

He was a "no one else was there, and you had to be there to win" kind of winner. He got his picture taken and everything, and it's being sent to corporate. If corporate compares his ticket with the winning ticket, well, they'll wonder just what happened.

What did he win?

A bucket full of about $50 worth of cleaning supplies, which was great, since we planned to wash the dust off the Van from our trip yesterday.

Personally I don't believe it, but RetroMan thinks that life evens out. Because of our bizarre trip yesterday and other things that have occurred lately, we were due.

I have to admit, the timing was interesting.

We're going to keep a close eye on giveaways at the auto store from now on.

Tree Ring Time

2010-03-07T11:42:00.004-05:00

It's been a month since we visited Tree Ring. Lots has been happening around here between the weather, illness, business trips and City Girl getting her license. So this weekend it was time to get up there and finish our surveying work for the shelter. Sunny, 65 degrees. Ahhhh.

City Girl had a job interview at 4:00, so couldn't come with us. Ok, I'm kidding myself. She had more important things to do - like drive all of her friends around in 'her car', now that she's 'free'.

Oye.

When we got there, it looked like lots of pine cones have begun to drop.

We went for a short walk into the southern dry pond near the giant oak tree at the center of the property, and found an area that seemed to be full of poop piles with pellets about 1/3rd of an inch. Not sure what kind of poop it was, but I would think deer poop would be bigger.

Some areas on our oak tree have shrivelled up fern fronds.

And in the sun, they looked like they were enjoying the weather as much as we were.

I'm pretty sure they are resurrection ferns. I did a Yahoo search on reserrection fern to be sure that I had this one right. It is an air plant that likes to live on trees such as live oaks. It looks dead when it's dry and cold, but comes to life with water and heat. While searching, I came upon an article by Meems at Hoe and Shovel about resurrection ferns. Her blog is full of interesting information about Gardening in Florida and has great photos.

After our walk, we got down to the business of surveying the last stake of our shelter. This is drum roll time, because if you did everything right, the diagonal measurements of the stakes should be the same, and your rectangle is square.

Here were our measurements.

We made a few changes and got everything within 1/4 inch. We're figuring that this is good enough, as the real test will be how square the poles are at the top. Knowing how difficult it was to get these square at the ground, I can't wait to put 8 poles up and make sure they're square 9 feet in the air.

So this is the part of the story where my life repeats itself. I am a very ordinary, laid back person, with an ordinary, laid back life. But God must have a sense of humor, because bizarre things happen to me. I can't remember if strange things also happened to me before I met RetroMan, or it just started with him.

It was around 3:00, and we packed everything up. RetroMan turned the key in the iginition.

Click, click, click.

So there we were, a mile from the nearest neighbor, 7 miles from the nearest town and our battery was dead.

We talked about this happening a few years before. The battery just up and quit one day. The mechanic said that the newer Vans put such a load on batteries with all their gadgets, that batteries only last 3 years. We thought back, and sure enough, it's been about 3 years since this happened last.

But I had a cell phone with some bars (important because of other bizarre events I haven't bloged about yet). RetroMan said "get the GEICO card out of the glove box. I've paid the towing fee for 10 years, now is the time to use it".

That would've been great had we not just three days before changed the insurance when City Girl started driving and dropped towing to save money.

We called our friend Ron, who lives a couple of miles away.

No answer.

So then we decided just to spend the night in the camper - what's the big deal?

Too bad we left the camper keys at home.

We decided to take a walk for about an hour, hoping that the battery might recharge enough to start, or that Ron might come home, or we could flag someone driving on the road to give us a jump - that last, knowing that there are only about three vehicles a day on that road.

We walked through the dry pond on our way to the road. Boy is it beautiful.

I heard a truck in the distance, and RetroMan took off running.

So now, being slightly crippled, I got a little nervous. I'm picturing Deliverance. Someone could shoot my husband and there I'd be, helpless in the dry pond.

Lost in my idiot thoughts, I heard a truck coming down the driveway. RetroMan was in the back, and waved to me. I hid in some bushes so the driver wouldn't see me. This would be important if the driver turned violent.

As I slowly walked towards them, City Girl called to tell me she was about to go into the interview. I wished her luck, and thought how bizarre life can be sometimes - all these things happening at the same time.

By the time I turned the corner, the jump was done and RetroMan and the Country Man were standing there talking. I took a picture for evidence in case someone found my camera with my body later.

Of course, Country Man was very nice and a neighbor (though 5 miles away), and I felt bad having undignified City Thoughts that showed I watch too much television and am distrustful of people. He had the coolest tattoo on his forearm that said 'Cracker' on it with the top of the 'C' pointing to our County in a map of Florida. I decided that to ask to take a picture was a bit much, especially seein as how I had just thought he might murder me and RetroMan.

City Girl called us just after we left for home to tell us she got the job.

Then she called 5 minutes later to say when she started the car, it made a 'crunchy noise'.

Here we go again.......

License To Drive

2010-02-24T19:23:00.002-05:00

City Girl is on the countdown to get her Driver's License.

Two days left of peace. Friday is the big day.

My neighbor told us that 75% of all teenage drivers get into an accident in the first three months.

I feel so fatalistic.

Please enjoy these pictures of some funny car accidents.

I need to laugh or I'll cry.

Update: She got it. Watch yourself out there.

Business Trip Beauty

2010-02-20T08:36:00.003-05:00

I was on a business trip this week and came out of my hotel room to this.

No, it wasn't snow.

It was sunrise at Ft. Walton Beach, Florida.

Today we're going to look at trailers for the Polaris. Maybe we'll actually get to use it on the Tree Farm soon!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T07:15:00.001-05:00

365 Love

2010-02-14T08:08:00.001-05:00

I love you today as much as the last 364 days,

and will continue to not wait until

February 14th of each year to tell you.

City Tree Trimming

2010-02-13T19:15:00.001-05:00

What's this?

A 60' Washington Palm on the tree lawn of our City House that I was sitting under this afternoon. It was probably planted around the time this house was built in 1925. Sometimes the flower stalks or palm fronds from this giant fall near you - and sometimes on you. You can hear the sound, but you don't know where it's coming from, and then WHUMP! You look at it and thank your lucky stars you weren't standing in the wrong place.

Fortunately that didn't happen today.

I was sitting there because RetroMan and I were trimming a Camphor tree in our front yard.

Rather, I was directing from under the palm tree and he was doing the work.

He used our two chain saws, Mutt and Jeff.

They were bought from Pawn Shops by Dumb and Dumber (I'm Dumber) - the second to be used for parts for the first. The love/hate relationship with these two things is worthy of a blog all by itself, but I'll spare you.

Being a really cool Tree Farmer and all, I thought I'd figure out how old the branch was.

Ok, never mind.

Then I asked RetroMan what he was going to do with all of the branches.

"Take them up to the Farm and burn them."

"What? You're going to take these 120 miles just to burn them?"

"Yeah. We need a lot of wood for the bonfire."

"We have 60 thousand trees on that Tree Farm, and a lot of them are dead. We can even cut more down if we have to."

"No, we should leave the trees on the Tree Farm alone."

I mean for real. Is there a Doctor for someone who owns a Tree Farm and doesn't want to cut down trees?

Well, I guess there's hope. He did trim a tree today.

The Camper's Final Resting Place

2010-02-07T10:25:00.003-05:00

For the last 10 years, the Pop-up Camper has waited patiently to be of use. We soured on public campgrounds long ago, but now that we have our own campground, it was finally time to get it up there.

Thankfully the 30 year old tires made it. We put the Camper near the oak tree in the clearing.

The Shelter will be located to the right of the above photo.

During this trip, RetroMan wanted to mark the four corners of the Shelter using the level we bought ourselves for Christmas.

Attaching the plumb bob was kind of challenging because it kept swinging and falling down, but we figured it out.

Essentially, you put two markers along one line of the Shelter. Then put the plumb bob over the first marker and sight the second marker. If you did everything right, all you do is subtract 90 degrees on the level and sight the third marker.

Did you follow all of that? Yeah, me neither. It took us a few hours just to put in 3 markers. We'll tackle the 4th marker on the next trip. Something tells me it will take even longer to put that 4th marker in. I'm not looking forward to it, because I'm thinking there will be much yelling seeing as we really have no idea what we're doing.

It was getting late, so we went for a walk before we had to leave.

What, you actually thought we were going to camp on this trip?

Our Tree Farm tract used to be part of a large commercial Timber property. While it has been neglected for many years, you can still distinctly see some of the 7' rows the slash pine are planted in.

We found some pretty moss (or maybe it's lichen) on the ground.

And some tiny flowers.

If anyone knows the names of the things in any of these pictures, please let me know.

Before we left, RetroMan wrapped the camper in plastic, so the rain won't ruin it.

Today I'm supposed to study for an ITIL v3 class I have to take next week. There's even a test I must pass.

Yawn.

I think I'll go check out some of the recipes at Farmgirl Fare instead.

Update: I passed! Whew, it was really hard (for me).

Another Update: Fred let me know the white flowers above are Houstonia Procumbens - Roundleaf Bluets. Thank you Fred.

RetroMan Olympics

2010-02-06T08:43:00.003-05:00

RetroMan and I saw a commercial for the Winter Olympics the other day. He said he is bored with the Olympics already. He would rather see contests that more depict our youth.

Like forget the shot put. Just give the contestants a pile of rocks and see how many they can throw a certain distance. When RetroMan was little, he would throw so many rocks at the mailbox, his Dad would have to get more gravel for the driveway at the end of the summer.

And how about Tobogganning? When RetroMan and I were little, everyone would start out at the same time. Whoever crossed the finish line first, won - whether you were on your toboggan or not. We think it would be a lot more entertaining to see the smashups, torn clothing, splintered toboggans, and perhaps cheating, to be the first person across the finish line. We discussed whether the whole team had to cross to count, but decided there might be casualties, so only one member of a team crossing the finish line is enough to win.

Finally, what about those prissy Marathon, Triathalon, or Bicycle racers? For Pete's sake, you have to take whatever you need with you: Your own water, spare tires, whatever. Now wouldn't that be more entertaining if a Marathon runner had to carry all the water and food he might need? The Triathalon athlete? Now that would be hysterical!

If you have any entertaining Retro Olympic ideas, please post them here. I am thinking some snowed-in, homebound bloggers out there might have some great ideas!

RetroMan

2010-01-30T08:39:00.003-05:00

Most Blog writers create pseudonyms for their family members. I thought I would do the same, especially since it isn't fair that people they don't know read about them.

I already made my daughter City Girl, but my husband's nom de guerre was a little more challenging. First of all he is the most private person I know, so just the idea of me writing about him makes him very uncomfortable. I told him that I liked the reference 'Rennaissance Man', but he didn't. Seeing that ignoring me on this issue wasn't going to work, he picked RetroMan.

Mostly because RetroMan likes old things. Nothing we have is new. We have an 80 year old house, old cars, a 70s moped, tools made in the 20s. The furniture in our living and dining rooms was made in the 30s. His idea of fun is antique shopping or going to the Pawn Shop (mine too).

This is our kitchen refrigerator.

You get the picture.

He throws nothing away because it might be useful someday. I have to admit that he generally uses it all. Or intends to....

You can't fit a hamster in our garage.

Everything works, but maintaining it is practically a full time job, and he can fix it all. Of course this is because he has every tool known to man.

Here he is working on one of the many chain saws we have.

Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm.

Going to Home Depot is a last resort for him, not the first.

He is a person who does not lie, who tells you what he thinks (whether you like it or not), who is trustworthy. A man of his word. A meticulous man. A moral man. Someone who can always be relied upon. He never talks about anyone behind their back.

In this world of navel gazers, he really stand out. Men with his character were more often found in days past. There aren't many around in today's times, and I worry for our daughter. At 16, she doesn't appreciate him very much, but I know that will change some day.

He likes quiet, target shooting (though I always beat him), boating, welding, and Ratrods.

He dislikes crowds, the growth of government, watermelon. And cold, which is why we live in Florida.

He is an awesome cook.

He wants to be a Tree Farmer, though he doesn't know much about trees and doesn't like cutting them down.

So that's RetroMan. He required a little introduction, since I know that many of my blogs will be about his view of the world, which I love, and will be the subject of more than one blog.

It's All Marie's Fault

2010-01-24T15:52:00.001-05:00

10 years ago my co-worker, Marie, told me that she and her husband were going to sell their 1970 Pop-up camper.

My husband and I decided to buy it, thinking that we'd had enough city and needed a bit of country. We could take our kindergartner and our dog camping and get some fresh air on the weekends. Some true, quality family time.

Don't you just love the decor?

Little did we know that campgrounds have become kind of like frat parties, what with all the people, the sites crammed together so tight you can see each others' butt crack, the party lights strung up between the palm trees, the alcohol, radios, TV sets, and guitar circles.

And I can't forget to mention the raccoons.

As we pulled up to our first campground spot with the Retro Camper, a racoon jumped into the truck bed, flipped open our cooler, stole a loaf of bread, dashed into the trees, and began fighting with a posse of other raccoons.

Well, you catch my drift. Maybe it's just campgrounds in Florida, I don't know. It seemed like we were the only ones looking for peace, quiet and solitude.

So after numerous camping trips, we decided that we should look for some of our own property to camp on. It took us 10 years to find it, and it wasn't cheap.

As soon as we bought our piece of paradise, we realized we needed other things. Expensive things. Like another truck to pull the camper, since we sold the first truck during the 10 years we never went camping.

After going to the property a number of times, we also realized we would need something that could get me around the property that was smaller than the truck, since I can't walk very well. We started out thinking a golf cart would be a great idea, but one day in August, I found a used 2004 Polaris ranger 2x4 with 240 hours at a dealer on the internet. Of course it was at a price we couldn't refuse. We didn't have a trailer, so the dealer let us borrow one to get it to our house in the city.

We figured it wouldn't take us long to find a trailer, but low and behold we'd run out of money having bought all sorts of "things" we "needed" now that we had a "Property".

And there it's been sitting while we've been saving. And saving. And saving....

Isn't it cute? It even came with horse-chewed cup holders.

I'm thinking someone spilled some Coke in those cup holders.

Yesterday my husband went to give it an oil change, since we've just about saved enough money to buy a trailer, and we'll finally be able to use it soon.

But it wouldn't start. He was totally bumbed out thinking he would have to give it a carb clean.

Fortunately, it was just a stuck selanoid.

So in the next month or so, we hope to buy the trailer, to haul the Polaris, with the new-to-us truck, so I can go explore our new Tree Farm that we had to buy because we bought a Pop-up.

Thanks Marie. If you didn't sell us that Pop-up, we wouldn't know how much fun we were missing.

Livin In The City #1

2010-01-24T09:17:00.004-05:00

What In The World Is It? #1

2010-01-23T08:27:00.011-05:00

The only thing we know about our Farm is that it's beautiful. Beyond that, all we have are questions.

Like what in the world is this?

The picture looks very strange after Blogger loaded it, but it is a mound of sand about one foot around.

The mound can be found near other mounds, often in what appears to be a crooked line. Here is a picture taken in May.

Another taken a year ago.

At first we thought they might be ant hills, but then you would see ants and there are none.

Gopher holes were our next guess, but there is no hole at the top as we saw with gopher holes out West.

If anyone has a clue, please leave a comment.

Mystery Solved: Many thanks to Alan from Suwannee Refugee who figured this one out. It is a Geomys pinetus, or Southeaster Pocket Gopher. Also known as the "sandy-mounder" or "salamander". As Alan indicated, more information can be found here.

Not the most cuddly animal I've ever seen. Yikes! Eeeww!

Hmmmm. This may not bode well for future gardening endeavors. According to the article they depend on "herbaceous" plants. That's garden plants, right?

Something To Smile About

2010-01-21T06:51:00.002-05:00

I went to lunch yesterday, began to eat my salad, and this was looking up at me. Every time I look at this picture, it makes me smile.

"I Can't Believe I'm going to the Country With Bumbling Idiots And A Stinky Dog."

2010-01-18T14:31:00.003-05:00

So said City Girl as my husband threw Sammie into the van and closed the door. She is at an age where exaggeration and understatement have no problem existing in the same sentence.

"EEWWW! He's got shrimp breath!", she said as she begged us to open all of the windows. We were eager to comply. Sammie's breath could drop an elephant. He’s had this problem before.

My husband and I were happy, because this was City Girl’s first trip to the Tree Farm. I knew the idea of being trapped in the car with her parents for 12 hours was nothing short of torture. But she had run out of other important things to do, and we bribed her by saying she could drive on the highway.

It was late by the time I guilted my husband into giving up the Football Playoffs to take our only daughter to the country for the first time.

We didn't leave until noon.

I commented that the traffic was light. "That's because the only people on the road are women buying wings and beer for their men for the playoffs right now", my husband said.

City Girl did really good driving on the highway, alternating between "What do I do?" and "I'm not stupid. I know how to drive". Well, mostly "I'm not stupid. I know how to drive".

Thankfully, we made it to the Tree Farm in one piece.

As soon as we got there, we appraised the view from the future Shelter looking toward the dry pond.

God I love Florida.

City Girl seemed to like it too, and started taking pictures with her iPhone right away - a good sign.

Until she caught me taking pictures of her.

Whereupon she ran back into the Van and stayed there for the next hour.

My husband grabbed a burger before he and I went for a walk.

Notice Shrimp Breath would do just about anything for a bite of that burger.

We found some blackberry plants just waiting for Spring.

I couldn’t find any flowers on this trip, but I have been admiring this plant. In trying to identify it, I found some great websites for Florida plant identification:

Atlas of Florida Vascular Plants
Florida Wildflower Foundation
Florida Wildflowers and Butterflies

Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out what it is. Perhaps someone reading this might help me out.

I also don’t know what this is, though it looks like some kind of Yucca or something.

On our walk we came upon what I think is a Gopher Tortise hole.

Just as I was thinking how cute it was that Sammie discovered the hole too, he nearly disappeared into it. He has no tail, so I had to drop the camera and grab him by his hiney hairs to keep him from going in.

The woods were beautiful.

Sammie got a little carried away and decided that there were more interesting smells far in the forest now that there was no chance of burger. We scared every animal away within a mile of us yelling for him to “Come” and “Get over here”.

We couldn’t pry City Girl from the Van because it was starting to get cold, and since it was getting late, we decided to leave.

On our way out of the property, my husband wanted to check out the dry pond.

Here’s what it looks like from the center of the dry pond looking towards the first picture in this blog post.

We had City Girl detour on the way home to a quiet 10 mile country dirt road we like. About 4 miles into the drive, we came upon one of my favorite spots: an 800 acre cattle ranch.

We kept going and suddenly City Girl let out a squeal, stopped the Van and jumped out to take a picture of this 3 foot alligator.

Followed by this deer shaking its tail at us.

There would have been more animal sightings I’m sure, but I was in the passenger seat trying to look through a windshield full of City Girl’s toe prints.

Back on asphalt, we passed one of my favorite farms planted in what I think is Winter Rye.

The daylight ended just as we crossed the bridge near Inglis.

Sorry for the long blog. I like to read blogs with lots of pictures and hope you enjoy them too.

Fortunately we all made it home in one piece, still talking to each other, and we didn’t lose the dog.

I asked City Girl if she like the Tree Farm and she said “It’s nice”.

Ah, just the words I wanted to hear.

Just don’t tell her I said so.