Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I Grow Trees So They Can Be Used For This?

It had been a few days, so I went to the front porch to get the mail and returned to the living room with an arm full.  RetroMan said that it was all mine.  Actually he said it was all for someone known by my maiden name.  Ya know, like me marrying him was the cause of all that mail.

So I said I would tally it up, and bet that he would have more than me.

The first one was addressed to RetroMan, and it was a replacement credit card.  He opened it, complaining that card companies should print the activation number big enough for old people to see.  I told him I don't know what he's talking about - the AARP isn't sending me mail just yet - I checked.

I put the mail addressed to 'Our Friends' in 'Resident'.  I wasn't sure where to put the piece of mail that had an initial instead of a first name, since RetroMan and City Girl have the same first initial.  I put it in RetroMan's count since it was from the Alzheimer's Foundation.

Apparently, even though the Census Bureau just moved into the White House, the Federal Government doesn't know our names yet, because the Census forms are addressed to 'Resident'.   That's good, because the less the government knows about us, the better. 

The total tally:

RetroMan: 6
Me: 5
City Girl:  2
Resident: 4

Ok, so marrying me didn't cause him to have more mail.

RetroMan lost interest in the mail and had me check the water restrictions in our city, since he's having his annual urge to plant new grass just as the worst drought of the year begins. 

It's still one day a week.  I told him the only thing that will grow in that darn front yard is jasmine. 

He told me to stick with counting the mail - the only plants I'm good at are plastic ones.

All righty then.


  1. My only hope is that by rearranging the USPS system to where it stops delivering every day, that it will stop killing so many trees.

  2. How about junk mail mulch? We'd all have plenty, wouldn't we!

  3. You two are too funny! I stop at the trash can in the garage with mail in hand and throw away most of the mail each day... what a pain and what a waste.