Saturday, September 25, 2010

You Never Learn Anything Unless Something Goes Wrong

We arrived at Tree Ring with the Polaris prepared with an extra battery so we could jump it when it died, a grabber in case the fuel hose fell into the gas tank again, and every tool known to Man for whatever might go wrong while we were blazing a trail in our jungle.

We went down the path we made a few weeks ago to the very back of Tree Ring and our next challenge.

No problem a machete, chain saw and pick ax can't handle.

While I waited patiently in the Polaris giving helpful instructions, I noticed my bottom getting quite warm.  As in, I had to lift myself up off the seat sometimes because it was so hot.  Right at about the point where I was going to say something, Retro Man broke through the thicket and got through about 50 more feet of tangled mess before we came to a good turning point to go back and take a break.

So I put it in reverse to turn around, and that was it.  The gear wouldn't budge and was stuck in Reverse.  

Well, at least we were pointed in the right direction.

I put the parking break on.  With a few choice words, Retro Man got out and reached way under the Polaris to manually put it into drive.  Don't try this at home, folks.  Unfortunately I was worried about running him over, so I didn't rev the engine enough, and it died.

So there we were:
  • Retro Man has been flinging a pick ax, chainsaw and machete through a complete tangled mess for a few hours in 90 degree humid heat.   
  • The Polaris is pointed in the right direction, but stuck in reverse. 
  • The Polaris is dead and won't start.
  • The battery is low and requires a jump from the extra battery. 
  • Jumping the battery requires removal of the seat.
  • Once it starts, you need to throw the seat back on and jump aboard to hit the accelerator before it dies. 
  • The Polaris won't start in gear because of some stupid safety feature.
  • I am a crip and can't help one bit.
WWMD (What would MacGuyver do)?

Well I'm not sure, but I stood quietly next to a giant banana spider wondering how long it would take me to hobble out of there while Retro Man worked his miracles to get it started again in the right gear.

Fortunately he didn't get run over, and we managed to get out of the Jungle alive.

There were plenty of bugs this trip.  The love bugs were everywhere.

Love bugs are called that because they're usually loving.  Like all the time.  Even when they are flying.  I don't want to think about it too much.

Can you spot the two grasshoppers?

There was a little spider that wanted to go for a ride, but I said no.

After bursting out of the Jungle, we decided to wing it and ride 4 miles on the neighborhood road.   We floored it at 25 mph.  What a blast!  On the way back we retrieved everything that flew out along the way.


The Beauty Berries were out.

Beauty Berry
While researching Beauty Berries, I found a great recipe for Beauty Berry Jelly that Georgia Farmwoman posted on her blog.

Dotted Horsemint
Winged Sumac

Here is a puffer.  At least that's what we called them when I was little.  

Get your mind out of the gutter.

You pick it up and squeeze it and a puff of brown stuff comes out.  If you know what it is, please let me know.

 Mr. Green really needed a wash when we got home.

Retro Man says we need to buy another Polaris for spare parts.  

I say maybe we should use this one for spare parts.


  1. Oh, I surely hope you write these realizing your good humor... your descriptions are perfect and I am chuckling outloud at the vision of your bulleted list of wrong-goings-ons!(please say you don't mind me being amused at your folly). You two are just too cute. And I am so glad you are journaling your adventures. If you aren't laughing now maybe you will when you read these after all the land is cleared and your cottage in the woods is a welcomed retreat (I made up the part about the cottage ... but maybe you will have one).
    I don't want to think too much about the love bugs flying either.

  2. Every time I ready your blog I get a good laugh and learn something new. Keep it up!