Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'm Really a Normal Person Except When I'm Nuts

There are very few things that really get me mad.  I'm a really even -tempered person.  Just ask anybody. 

Ok.  Since none of you know me, I'll explain how normal I am except sometimes.

If you wake me up as I'm about to fall asleep, you are taking your life in your own hands.

There have been many a time on the evening of the Fourth of July that I've had to be restrained.  I've been willing to go out there in my pajamas (whether or not I was wearing any) and with my hair askew, tell those kids (grown-ups, drug dealers, whatever) that they need to knock it off!  It's time for sleep for Pete's sake!

My sensible husband has always restrained me, called me an old bag, telling me to let them have their fun and to go back to bed.

Ok fine.  So I've never used a firearm because of a firecracker.


Smoke detectors are another story.

This morning I was writing the funniest blog ever about our summer camping trip to the Tree Farm, enjoying the quiet darkness while my husband and daughter slept in, sipping hot coffee, wiggling my toes in my warm slippers.

Then I decided to get some breakfast. 

I put some bread in the toaster oven, and when the timer dinged, I made my favorite breakfast - cheese toast - and started into the living room to continue my hilarious soliloquy.

Then I heard something chirping.

It got louder and louder and louder. 

My mind raced backwards - is that the smoke detector? Yes.  Did I burn the toast? No.  Will my husband and daughter believe that I didn't burn the toast?  No.  Have I pretty much ruined their morning sleep in?  Yes.  Will they be mad at me?  Yes.  Will there be much yelling?  Probably.  Will I be able to peacefully continue writing my prizing winning blog?  No.

My logical mind knows that smoke detectors are good things.  But in my experience, there's never been a real fire when they've gone off. 

They only alarm when I am cooking. 


I guess the only other thing that gets me insanely mad is when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night and something wakes me up.  

Then I hear it.   The faint chirp of one of the five fire alarms in our house going off every 5 minutes to let us know that they need a new battery.

Just waiting for that next chirp makes me want to..........

Do irrational things.

It really is a miracle there are no shotgun holes in the ceilings of our house.


  1. crack me up! Tell hubby to hide the firearms! Kim

  2. This is too funny! I can just see the headlines now - "local woman shoots smoke detectors with shotgun" LOL

  3. I feel your pain--at my place, the smoke alarm is placed directly above the stove! (Shouldn't it be someplace where smoke would actually be a cause for alarm??) One can set it off just heating up water to make coffee. Go figure!